Men seem to think it means 'treat women like a man in a dress' but that isn't the case.

No, because not only does that still assume "man" as the default, but as the only sex that deserves respect. Sorry, please try again.

I've been really touchy about this lately, not the least because one of my classmates in Letters of Paul is a very subtle misogynist and I can't call him on it without completely derailing the class.