ext_53873 (
kippurbird.livejournal.com
) wrote
in
charliesmum
2006-11-06 09:07 pm (UTC)
no subject
One bit of Constructive Crit.
You say "The Addisons and the Holtons are descended from Harrison Woodlawn,” And then you go into a long description of the Addisons, but you never mention the Holtons again. You might want to fix that.
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no subject
You say "The Addisons and the Holtons are descended from Harrison Woodlawn,” And then you go into a long description of the Addisons, but you never mention the Holtons again. You might want to fix that.