Blood, start your boiling

[charliesmum]

I'm sure by now many of you have heard the story of the 16 year old who came out to his parents and is now being sent to some fundie camp to get him 'straight.

Yesterday pracuel mentioned it on his journal and today jenlittlebottom mentioned on hers, and now I'm mentioning it on mine.

Here's the website of the organization, the whitest bunch of people you ever did see.

And, just for pained grins, here's a link to the application

Their email address is: info@loveinaction.org, and because I'm seriously pissed off, I sent an email, even though I am sure it will be ignored.

I'm not sure this will reach anyone appropriate, and I'm certain even if it does your hearts and your minds will be closed to what I have to say, but I have the need to say it, if only it assuage the rage I'm feeling right now. I’m quite literally shaking with anger.

First let me say I gather that some of what you do at your Refuge camp deals with helping people through drug and alcohol addiction. I have no quarrel with that. When people try to get rid of something that has been that important in their life, it is important to fill it up with something equally important, and God is a good way to go.

No, I’m talking about your other program, the one that supposedly turns gay people straight.

You should know that news of a 16 year old boy being sent to your 'camp' is making its way to blogs across the world, and by and large people are not happy about it.

I know gay people, and you know something? Sex is only a small part of their lives. Or rather, it is as important to them as it is to the average heterosexual person. It doesn’t run their lives. It isn’t an addiction.

The people I know are in committed, long term relationships, they love the person they are with; they live together, laugh together and fight over whose turn it is to do the dishes, just like any other couple.

What are you so afraid of? That they are normal? That people who are gay can love God and Christ and act just like straight people? Or are you afraid that admitting gay people can’t be changed to your satisfaction will mean you have to face the fact that life is complicated and messy and doesn’t always follow the rules you think it should?

Look I understand the founder of your organization is gay. I’m not going to say ‘was’ gay, because I don’t believe he has a choice to be straight any more than I have the choice to be gay. However, if he chooses to be ashamed of who he is, that’s his problem. If he wants to suppress his natural feelings, then that’s his life, but to force it on people, to brainwash them into thinking your way is wrong. And it is evil.

You can’t change people, all you can do is frighten them into behaving they way you want them too. And people living in fear are never free.

That’s not very Christian, is it?

I don't normally do that sort of thing, but I am just so tired of this backwards trend our country seems to be in. Why is it so bloody hard to accept people?

Comments

[zoepaleologa.livejournal.com]

I find that so upsetting. I'm a parent, and I am sure most agree that being told their child is gay is the last of bad things that could happen.

Yeesh.

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

I know. And, yeah, you want your kid to have an easy life, so it might be a bit upseting to know they will have more things to overcome (dealing with asshats like these, for one) but to do what these people are doing...I don't get it, and I never will.

[crossbow1.livejournal.com]

I feel like sending them some gay porn.

[jessii-6.livejournal.com]

I didn't know. That's so ... stupid. Besides it being cruel it is also stupid. You can't change what a person is. That's like asking them to change their eye colour.
The close-mindness amazes me.
I'm sorry to agree that your letter will reach on deaf ears. And even if it doesn't. This type of people tend to be too plain to understand what you said. You should have used simple sentences with five words maximum.

[meadowrue.livejournal.com]

I think these parents are failing their child. It's disgusting. As a parent I can't imagine having my child think that I thought he was perverse never mind subjecting him to brainwashing.

[zakkati.livejournal.com]

Good on you, girl! This story is now a blog-fire which these Christians are going to have to deal with sooner or later.

I just hope 'Bryan' knows how much love and support there is out there for him.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_geekie_/]

I've been asking, since my Baptism, for an icon of Our Lord that says, "STOP BEING ON MY SIDE. YOU'RE MAKING MY SIDE LOOK BAD."

This would be one of those moments I'd need it. I thought my religion was all about the love, man.

[fourthage.livejournal.com]

That is so sad. Those parents are destroying their relationship with their son. Once he hits eighteen he's going to leave and never look back. One hopes they'll realize what they've done, but I've seen too many parents be just as happy to write their "failed" child out of their lives.

People suck.

[lizzyrose89.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's horrible. How could you do something like that to your own child? Those rules are batshit insane! No physical contact? I hug my friends ALL THE TIME! Oh noes, perhaps I will have caught teh gay from it. Woe.

Gah, that's awful.

Good on you for your email. They probably won't be interested in what you have to say, but it was very very well said.

[chavvah.livejournal.com]

The rules of this camp are INSANE. No physical contact other than a handshake? They measure the length of the kids' fucking sideburns?! I can't believe this kind of crap still goes on.

[toxic-cookies.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad to hear that there are parents that do realize that there are worse things in life than being gay. Where I used to live I primarily hung out with people who were gay/lesbian, or bi. My mom eventually came to believe that since I was best friends with a girl who was bi (and already HAD a girlfriend), and was always talking to her on the phone, that meant I had a crush on her. What's worse is my sister told her that I did. One day my mom picked me up after I had stayed after for practice, took me to a parking lot, and told me I was never to see my friends again. I couldn't hang out with them or call them outside of school, and I was to try to avoid them as much as possible at school. The threat if I didn't? To be sent to the small town I now live in and forced to live with my grandparents: hardcore mormons. The reason? It's a learned thing. Get out and into an environment where I won't be around them and I'll unlearn what they have "taught" me.

I came to find that my bishop had actually planted spies in my school that would tell him what I was doing with my friends and if I was still with them. Two weeks later we moved, and she wouldn't let me go and spend the night at my best friend's house one last time to say goodbye. The night she forbade me to be with my friends was one of the few times I have openly cried in front of people because I couldn't control it. Funny thing is, now that we're moved I can talk to them and stuff.

I finally have forgiven my mother for moving, but I don't think I will ever truly get over her forbidding me to be with the only people I trusted, because I have had some pretty shitty friends. They were my first real ones, and she said I couldn't even talk to them. It's been over a year and a half and I still don't have a good friend.

Anyway, this isn't the same...and I don't know why I'm telling YOU, but THANK YOU for being someone who wouldn't put your child through this.

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry that happened to you. Real friends are rare, and I'm sorry your mother couldn't understand that.

Just a quick story that's probably irrelvant, but it might illustrate that someday you'll be able to make your own decisions:

My parents live in one of those over 55 communities, and she told me this story of one couple they are friends with. She was Jewish, he Puerto Rican, they met and fell in love in High School. Her mother and father were so horrified at this, they moved towns to get her away from him. She married a nice Jewish boy eventually, and had some kids. Years into the marriage, she and her husband both decided this wasn't working and divorced - they are still very good friends - and she immediately started searching for her first love. She found him, he, too, had married and divorced, and they married and have been together ever since. My mom said they still act like newlyweds.

Now this is nothing like your story, but my point is, when you are on your own, hopefully you can find your friends again, and continue the friendship that meant so much to you, and your mom can't do anything about it.

Meanwhile, the good thing about the internet is there are people like me who are willing to listen should you ever need to complain. I make a pretty good cyber-mom! :)

[joincidence.livejournal.com]

Hey there - I know you have absolutely no idea who I am, heh, but I saw you while lurking on deleterius, thought your icon was just adorable, and just had to come on over to your journal. And, after reading this, I had to say something.

You rock. I'm 17, came out to my mother several weeks ago, and since then, she's insisted I split up with & have no contact with my girlfriend, or other friends who are gay. People like you, willing to stand up for this, are what this world needs. Maybe it's a drop in the ocean, but it's something, so... this is going to sound very trite, but thank you for doing that.

And now I'll scuttle off.

Lucy x

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

Well, hopefully your mother is just going through the denial phase of the thing, and will eventually remember that she loves you, and that you are still the same person you always were.

My friends Melissa and Jennifer both have good relationships with their parents now, after having a rocky start as far as the 'coming out' went, so there is hope.

At any rate feel free to come to me if you need someone to listen to you. I'm pretty good at that sort of thing. :)

I'll look for you on deleterius!