charliesmum | (no subject)

slammerkinbabe posted this article on her journal, and I started a comment, but then decided it would be better to rant in my own journal.

Okay, here's the thing about feminism. Men seem to think it means 'treat women like a man in a dress' but that isn't the case. I think feminism is all about having the choice. sixty-odd years ago a woman really didn't have a big choice. Some woman had careers, but it would have been perfectly acceptable to fire her if she got married. I worked with a woman who got married during the Great Depression, and they had to keep their marriage a secret because she had a good job and he didn't, and she would have lost her job had they known she was married. Today, fortunately, if a woman has talent in a position, she is, mostly, able to pursue that career, and won't have to give it up if she gets married or has children. The nice thing is, a woman can choose to give up her career to be a housewife, if she so desires. I really think all we wanted was a choice.

Then there's this paragraph:

The day men and women have the same level of power is the also the day when chivalry dies. Many women enjoy visiting bars and having men buy them drinks in exchange for a casual conversation. It seems that after all the work women put into getting ready for a night out, they won't compromise their ability to get free alcohol for the sake of self-independence.

I think women can be equal and still accept a drink if it is offered to her, and second, who says we go out to make 'causual conversation' with a guy. Maybe we just want to hang with our girlfriends and make fun of other people's outfits. You don't know.

The implication this boy is making is that we can't be girls and be feminists. Dude. being a feminist does not mean giving up everything feminine.

And anyway, real equality won't really happen until commercials featuring things like what to cook for dinner and which brand of detergent to use stars a man.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Grrrr. If I didn't have to leave a phone number, I would have responded to the original article. Since I won't reply there, I'll reply here.

Dear Skippy,

Aren't you just the most precious little misogynist ever? I have to admit, your adolescent priorities, and sweeping generalizations about both genders brought a smile to my face. As a veteran adult, I've learned to find amusement in the arrogance of youth.

First darling, if given a choice between bringing home 25% more in their weekly paycheck and having a fine young man like yourself buy her a drink, I'm guessing that a fair number of women would take the money and buy their own drink. I'm going to let you in on a little secret, women pay for those free drinks. You see, some men feel that the price of a drink entitles them to a woman's attention -- the price of a dinner entitles them to a woman's affection. Some women may be willing to enter into this social bartering, others are not. The ones who aren't won't be the least bit disappointed with the brave new feminist world that your angst about in your article.

Fear not, grasshopper. The feminism induced social Armageddon you dread will not come to pass. I'm a feminist and so is my husband. We've raised four feminist children (three girls and a boy), and you'll be happy to know that our children are successful and happy. They've had the advantage of BOTH parents nurturing them since the day they were born -- a vast improvement over the absent father model of the past. And lest you think that my husband has sacrificed his masculinity to feminism, he was a heavyweight boxing champion in the Navy, played semi-professional football well into his forties, and still plays ice hockey. Manly enough for you? Oh, and I'm guessing he gets laid quite a bit more often than you do too. Equal partnership in the bedroom is anything but boring.

You seem to be very fixated on opening doors and what not. I have to say, I thought this old chestnut went out of style in the seventies, right along with "OH MY GOD, WE'LL ALL HAVE TO USE THE SAME BATHROOMS!" I don't know where you live, but here in Philly we have a store called Wawa. It's the happiest place on earth. The food is good, the staff is helpful and pleasant, and the customers are all polite to one another. Whomever is at the door first holds it open for the person behind them. Gender doesn't enter into the equation. Doesn't that sound lovely? When your hands are full of the best coffee on the planet and a delicious muffin, you can thank feminism when a smiling woman holds the door open for you. Feminism isn't just about making things better for women; it's about making things better for everyone.

Finally Skippy dear, my daughters are drop dead gorgeous. One day you may run into them at a bar and want to chat them up. A word of advice -- a beer isn't going to impress my girls. You may want to take the initiative and actually show some interest in them. You know, approach them and say something like, "Aren't you on the basketball team? Is it hard balancing sports and premed?" I guarantee you, that will work much better than buying them a drink and going on and on about yourself, or God forbid, your views on how they'd be so much happier without equality.

Good Luck, Skippy. You'll need it.

Fondly,

Buttercup

Do what I do. 202-456-1414. White House switchboard number. I give that number out to anybody who doesn't need it. 'Cause that's a great reply and you should send it to the author.

Grrrr. If I didn't have to leave a phone number, I would have responded to the original article. Since I won't reply there, I'll reply here.

I bit the bullet and replied there, but only to one of his stuid examples.