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Sep. 20th, 2011 07:33 amI think of LJ as a sort of safe space where I can rant about things that bother me, so I can get it off my chest so I don't cause problems in the area in my life about which I am ranting.
So...thanks in advance for listening.
Right. So my theatre group has a band, Antic Disposition. I've been in the band, marginally, but in the band, since we started it. I kind of liked that. I liked that little extra thing. I'd secretly always wanted to 'be in a band' so doing this just made me happy.
In the band we have a keyboardist, one or two guitarists, and a drummer on a drum box thingy and a bassist. Many times the guitarist and drummer was the same person, My Brilliant Friend![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kirathaune. My other friend rvnshadow2001 and I were 'back up singers' and got to take lead on one or two songs. We were pretty good, and I loved being a part of it.
And, as I am not the strongest singer, it was great pushing my boundaries and taking the lead on a song.
Well, this time, for some reason we have 10 people 'in the band' which to me no longer makes it a band. It makes it just an extension of the cast. That was kind of annoying, but I thought 'well I'm still a 'core' member of the band. I'll still get a song.'
Well, I got a song, I was going to sing 'These Boots are Made for Walking' but somewhere along the line the decision was made, without asking me, to 'share' the song with the other 'Merry Wife'. And then, 'hey, let's have the other person who is sharing Carol's role sing it when it's her night!'
So now I'm not singing the song as a member of the band, I'm singing it as a member of the cast, which is a completely different thing.
And it's bad enough I have to share the role, but now I can't even have one little song to myself.
So I'm feeling very marginalised, and every time I think of that stupid song I want to cry. No one else has to 'share' a song.
It makes me feel like the 'band leader' doesn't think I'm any good. It makes me feel like I'm not important; that my feelings, my contributions mean nothing to these people that I've spent years with.
And if I try to say this to anyone, it will be interpreted as whining, or 'side directing' or something.
So, thanks for listening again. I'm not feeling better, but maybe I will later!
So...thanks in advance for listening.
Right. So my theatre group has a band, Antic Disposition. I've been in the band, marginally, but in the band, since we started it. I kind of liked that. I liked that little extra thing. I'd secretly always wanted to 'be in a band' so doing this just made me happy.
In the band we have a keyboardist, one or two guitarists, and a drummer on a drum box thingy and a bassist. Many times the guitarist and drummer was the same person, My Brilliant Friend
kirathaune. My other friend rvnshadow2001 and I were 'back up singers' and got to take lead on one or two songs. We were pretty good, and I loved being a part of it.And, as I am not the strongest singer, it was great pushing my boundaries and taking the lead on a song.
Well, this time, for some reason we have 10 people 'in the band' which to me no longer makes it a band. It makes it just an extension of the cast. That was kind of annoying, but I thought 'well I'm still a 'core' member of the band. I'll still get a song.'
Well, I got a song, I was going to sing 'These Boots are Made for Walking' but somewhere along the line the decision was made, without asking me, to 'share' the song with the other 'Merry Wife'. And then, 'hey, let's have the other person who is sharing Carol's role sing it when it's her night!'
So now I'm not singing the song as a member of the band, I'm singing it as a member of the cast, which is a completely different thing.
And it's bad enough I have to share the role, but now I can't even have one little song to myself.
So I'm feeling very marginalised, and every time I think of that stupid song I want to cry. No one else has to 'share' a song.
It makes me feel like the 'band leader' doesn't think I'm any good. It makes me feel like I'm not important; that my feelings, my contributions mean nothing to these people that I've spent years with.
And if I try to say this to anyone, it will be interpreted as whining, or 'side directing' or something.
So, thanks for listening again. I'm not feeling better, but maybe I will later!