Words, Words, Words, Words

The other day Charlie called as he was walking home from school. His friend John had asked him a question he didn't know the answer to. 'Mom,' he says, 'how did I get Autism?'

I've actually tried to teach him to be open about the fact he is on the spectrum, because, especially with him, it is not always apparent to the untrained eye, and I'd rather people knew up front he had a neurological disorder and isn't just 'weird' or mis-behaving. I'm glad he feels comfortable talking about it.

Someone on the Doctor Who community just mentioned something to me that I think is interesting - she said that Matt Smith's Doctor is more alien than David Tennant's and reminded her a bit of someone with Autistic tendencies. I think this is why Charlie likes him so much. He recognizes in Matt Smith's characterisation a kindrid spirit.

This sign turned up on the corner of our street. My guess is it is for the people over the road; I know they have at least 1 autistic child (although I thought they were old enough that one wouldn't consider them 'children' any more).

My Crazy Downstairs Neighbour has an autistic son, but he's in full time care, so is only here on the occasional weekend.

And then there's Charlie.

It's almost like they figured there's enough Autistic people on our road to warrent the sign or something.

Charlie wanted to take this photo, by the way. We also took a photo using his DSi; he wrote on that photo "I am Autistic".

I've just gotten a new friend who's son just got the PDD diagnosis, and she is, naturally, dealing with quite a bit of emotion right now. It made me think back to when Charlie got his diagnosis, and I thought I'd share it here, and am asking those of you with Autistic children (or family members) to share your stories as well. It might make her feel a little better.

( my story )

Charlie hasn't had too many 'bad episodes' recently, but last night lack of sleep combined with (probably) too much food with dye in it, caused a meltdown of momentous proportions.

( Under a cut because it is long )

But it is a new, sunshiny day, and all is right with the world. For now.

I'd like to hear from mothers with Autistic children/people on the spectrum (You know who you are)to see what your stories are when it comes to this sort of thing. Strength in numbers and all that.

On the plus side, I got carded at the liquor store last night! They have a sign that says 'anyone under 30 will be asked for ID' or something similar, why I don't know, and in all the times I have gone into that store I have never, ever been carded. but they carded me. I was totally surprised. It was awesome.




*We never sang dark songs like that when I was in Brownies. It was all 'make new friends and Michael row the boat in them days.

Saw the movie Kinsey on Sunday. It was okay. Interesting. Made me want to find out where I fall on the Kinsey scale.

Anyway...I'm not sure how accurate Liam Neeson's portrayal of Kinsey was, but based on his performance, I wonder if Kinsey didn't have an Autism Spectrum Disorder. His bluntness, his focus on the minutia of things and his occasional inability to deal with people all struck me as some sort of Asburgers.

For example, in the film he is brutally honest about things - when he had a homosexual affair with this guy* he told his wife what he did, and when he overheard the same guy telling the wife that he was getting bored with the man-sex, instead of bounding in and pretending he didn't hear anything, he joined in the conversation.




*FYI for those who haven't seen it yet, there is full frontal male nudity sported by Chris O'Donnell. As I was the only straight girl in the room watching this, it went unremarked upon.

Firstly. Congratulations to ciara_belle for totally kicking arse on Jeporady. She's one smart person. It's interesting how much more fun that show is when you actually have a specific person to cheer for.

Secondly. Charlie is being kicked out of his after school program, mostly because the person who runs it has no concept of structured activities. She gives the kids things to do, but it's like 20 kids doing 20 different things. Charlie apparently 'scared' the other children too many times with his behavior. I also happen to think the other kids enjoyed pointing out Charlie's behavior because they couldn't wait to tell me. It was kind of cute in a way, they all gathered around me to tell me the things Charlie was doing, and then I told them that Charlie was Autistic, and his brain didn't work the same way theirs did. They were very interested. Now I need to a) try to find someone who can take Charlie after school and pick him up since I have no means of transporting him from school to after school care and b) check to see if they actually can legally discharge a child with special needs. It isn't part of the school system, so they probably can, but if I can at least buy more than 2 weeks time to find him some where else to go, that would be good.

Thank all the gods that I am working somewhere where they are very understanding. I was able to keep Charlie in my office this afternoon. My friend who works there uses her given name at work, but when she and I were in high school she was known by her middle name, Beth. So Charlie knows her as Beth, and was fascinated beyond anything that she was called "Veronica" at the office. He made sure he called her "Veronica" frequently.

So, is there anyone living in Southern New Jersey who is looking to make some extra money by babysitting an adorable autistic boy in the afternoons? Anyone?

Sigh.

Gakked this from someone called agressiveducks.
You're a Londoner (if that's a word) from the most
popular city in Great Britain. You more or
less speak the Queen's English and you're damn
proud of it.


What Sort of Brit are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Pretty funny, considering I'm American. But want to be British, really, deep in my heart. At first I got Liverpool. (Liverpudlian?) I was rather hoping for Newcastle. You can sort of guess at the answers, going by the choices.


In less trivial news, Charlie continues to have difficulty in school lately. I am at my wits end to understand what exactly is going on. They are starting to make noises like 'maybe he shouldn't be in the school.' Very sigh. He is apparently getting violent. I'm beginning to seriously wonder what is going on in school. He's not a violent person. And then today he ran down to the principal's office and said 'I want to go home'. And they're surprised. Maybe because everytime you can't handle him you make me come get him, and now he expects that? Huh? Anyone? Bueller?

I wonder how many people still say "Bueller" to Matthew Broderick on an average day.

This is not a meaningful post.

Charlie got kicked out of school again. Happened on Thursday too. He apparently got all aggressive and wouldn't listen, and started running out of the classroom, and was hitting, and threatening to bite, and being super horrible. He was fine for most of the morning, then something set him off.

I talked with the principal, and with Charlie's case worker, and nodded and agreed with what they were saying, and tried to come up with reasons for this behavior, and now I just feel like having a righteous mommy rant.

He's in a new school, with new kids, and new teachers. He'd been going to his old school since he was 3 years old, so it is a big adjustment, especially for a child who doesn't handle transition well. It's just been 1 week today since school started and he's had problems 2x. The other days, though, he was very good. So obviously something is setting him off.

I can't help but feel like the teacher isn't being very patient with Charlie and his problems. I can't believe he is the only kid with problems in the class. I know for a fact that one boy who was with Charlie last year, can be even more disruptive. I know it isn't fair to the other kids in the class to have the teachers have to spend too much time with Charlie, but that's why he is in a special class, isn't it? If he were totally mainstreamed I would understand the teacher's problem, but it is her job to deal with this. And the case worker said that 'yes, she is trained to deal with this, but Charlie is being so difficult' yada yada yada. And I can't help but wonder exactly what they are doing in the classroom that is setting Charlie off. Because he's not a horrible kid.

And then I'm being told that he had problems during the summer. Well, first I heard of it. No one told me that he was being difficult. For all I knew he was doing fine. I didn't have to go pick him up from school once this summer.

I wanted to see if he would go back to class this afternoon, because I don't want him to think I can just come get him whenever he doesn't feel like being in school, and I was told that the teacher didn't want him back. Yeah, that's a good attitude.

And the case worker suggested maybe he's ADD or something, and maybe I should look into getting him medicated. I'm sorry, but I'm not drugging up my child just to make the teacher's job easier.

I'd love to hear from anyone who is on Ritalin or something, or if they know someone, because the only one I know is my friend's daughter, and I didn't see it helping a whole lot. It helped her focus in class more, apparently, but the side effects where sometimes worse than the original problem. It completely killed her appetite, and this is a kid who didn't eat much in the first place, and made her even more emotional than she was before.

And I just don't like the idea of putting my son on drugs.

Anyway...thanks for letting me rant. I feel, well lousy still, but slightly better for talking to people about it. People I might add, who aren't my family and won't start giving me well-meaning but annoying advice that make me feel like a bad mother and want to throw things.

This is interesting. 90 days ago, Unlocking Autism issued seven questions to both the Bush-Cheney and Kerry-Edwards campaigns: We estimate that there are 10,000,000 people of voting age in the United States alone with a loved one with autism in their life. While the issues pertaining to autism shouldn't be your final reason for selecting a candidate, we thought you would want to know if the epidemic was even on the candidate's radar screen.

90 days passed and only one candidate responded.

Guess which one responded. Go on, guess.

Well, I did it. I sent an essay to these people who are writing a book about Autism, and had asked for essays from people with Autism, or families of people with Autism, describing how it affected their lives.

I got an email back today saying I'll hear in 8-10 weeks whether or not they decide to use it. Either way, I'm glad I did it. While I'm not sure how much further being included in the book takes me as far as being a 'published author' but they are my words, and if they take them, they'll be in a real book with pages and everything, so it's all good. And if they don't take me, well, at least I tried. Most of my problem is that I haven't even taken the risk, haven't tried to get anything out there for a long time. Even getting rejected makes me more of a writer then just sitting around moaning about how I want to be a writer does.

If anyone wants to read it, the essay is behind the cut. ( Essay )