Why I don't get Polygamy

[charliesmum]

Who the heck would want more than one spouse? One is aggravating enough for me, thank you very much.

Why, I hear you ask, do I mention this? Well, if you must know, it is because my husband is freaking annoying.

He has jury duty today in Camden which is only about 10 minutes away from us, tops. He had to be there at 8:15, so he's still hanging around the house when I am going through my morning routine which basically consists of drinking my coffee, eating some breakfast, taking the dishes out of the dishwasher then checking both my home and work email to see if anything important has come up. In other words, I wasn't dressed and ready to go out, and Charlie was still sleeping. It was a little bit after seven when he says to me that he thinks he'll take the 'speedline' into Camden, as he doesn't want to take his truck in, because it has a rejected inspection sticker on it, and he doesn't want to bring it to 'cop town'. So fine. I nod blearily at him and continue to pour my coffee.

Around 7:40 he says cryptically, "My truck has a lot of equipment in it, and I don't want to leave it."

I wait for him to finish this thought and when he doesn't I prompt him with an admittedly bitchy, "and?"

"And I need you to drive me to the station," he says in a tone of voice that indicates this should have been obvious.

I'm still in my jammies at this point, Charlie is still asleep, and I'm annoyed at the interruption of my morning routine, so I wasn't gracious about it, and I point out that I have to get dressed and wake up Charlie and get him dressed.

Because I didn't acquiesce sweetly and kindly, and rather grumbled about this, he says, in tones of injured martyrdom I should forget it and he'll call a cab. I say, or, you know, shout, that I will drive him, it just can't be this minute, so does he have to leave right now, and he shouts back that he does have to leave and forget it he'll walk and storms out of the house before I have a chance to respond.

So whatever. I grumble some more, and go back to what I was doing. About ten minutes later, when it was closing in on 8 o'clock I was in the process of waking Charlie up when the husband calls me. He tells me he twisted his leg while running, and I have to go get him.

Again with the martyr. So, with much bad grace I bully Charlie awake, slam him into clothes, get myself dressed and rush to the car. I'm halfway down the driveway when he calls again and says he thumbed a ride and I don't have to come.

So now I'm really pissed off, because if he had just bloody stopped acting like a baby for five minutes all together I could have driven him to the bloody station in the first place. We still would have gotten there by 8 at the latest, and it only takes about five minutes to get to where he needed to go.

But no, he had to immediately make this all my fault because I had no idea he would have wanted me to drive him, because he didn't say he wanted me to drive him. It is also his fault that he didn't say something to me when he noticed I wasn't getting dressed or anything, and so obviously had no idea he wanted me to drive him. It is also my fault because I am not allowed to get annoyed at him when he does stuff like this, and he had to march out all injured pride.

I tried to yell at him over the phone, because I was upset and wanted him to know it, and he kept hanging up on me, which is his way of dealing with any argument we have. God forbid he listen to my side of the story. God forbidt it ever be his failing. No, I didn't have my precognition on, so it is all my fault.

Comments

[zakkati.livejournal.com]

Ah, men! Aren't they treasures? My sympathies, m'dear.

X

[leakyandsnort.livejournal.com]

I think with polygamy he would have many other women to either a) blame b) soothe him or c) have argued with in the first place. I go back and forth, quite frankly. It'd kinda be nice to be able to say, "Quiet! go see Suzie and your other seven children!"

but more than one husband? No effing way.

I hope your day gets better.

(Also, on a side note - C is back at work, and this week marks our return to normalcy! Come over!)

[slammerkinbabe.livejournal.com]

I'm missing something. How is the truck any less left behind if you drive him than if he takes the speedline?

Sorry, but I hate it when people give excuses that make no sense.

I'm a big fan of people SAYING WHAT THEY GODDAMN WELL ARE TRYING TO SAY. It sounds like you are too. I applaud. And I think if he calls for a ride home you should tell him you can't give him one because you have to keep an eye on the truck.

[october31st.livejournal.com]

I believe he meant he didn't want to leave the truck at the station (a public place) rather than at home (where it would be if c'mum drove).

[dorei.livejournal.com]

boys are stupid. Let's throw rocks at them.

[slammerkinbabe.livejournal.com]

Oh, I get it. I didn't realize he was driving his car to the station.

[lietya.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you had to deal with this. What a pain. I HATE when people expect telepathy, and that goes double if they pout and passive-aggressively stomp off when they don't get it.

at least with polygamy you'd have other partners to agree with you that he was being an ass? :)

[chaosdancer.livejournal.com]

They aren't all like that, really they're not. Some of them you can't say boo to without them bursting into tears (or at least "Yes Dears"), and that's not any better. I didn't like being thrust into the role of Imperious Bitch just for asking for help around the house...I'm not the sort of person who gets off on that sort of thing. My ex-boyfriend is a dear, but I hope that he someday finds a person with a really big riding crop and the attitude to use it.

[chaosdancer.livejournal.com]

The more I get to know my poly friends (polyamorous, NOT polygamous) the more I think that's the main function of poly. I have some "evolved" poly friends who swear they never use one relationship to vent about another. I say, watch that space for terminal explosions. People need to talk...and venting doesn't have to be toxic. Sometimes venting prevents toxicity.

[lietya.livejournal.com]

Yeah, totally. (I used "polygamy" because Charliesmum did; technically, I was definitely talking about polyamory. We actually consider ourselves polyamorous, but we're also so shy that it's hardly ever come up.) It's really a lot like using one's friends for venting about one's spouse, except that one's other partners also have a bit more freedom to point out that YOU have your own annoying quirks. :)

[chaosdancer.livejournal.com]

Exactly! Poly keeps you honest, mostly. :)

[carlanime.livejournal.com]

Men do seem to have an innate capacity to expect telepathy from everyone around them, don't they? ::hugs sympathetically:: It sucks being expected to be the mum to an adult male having a fit of the sulks.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

::HUGS::

I am not morning-impaired (must have coffee to function). I DO know better than to ask for something from someone who hasn't had their coffee yet. How can he be married to someone who does need coffee and not know this?

Comment I have about my children, that might make you smile: I love them to death, and some days it's more tempting than others.

[cactus-wren.livejournal.com]

Men are so damn charming, aren't they? As you know, I have martyr/husband too, so I understand completely. Mine doesn't hang up on me when arguing though, usually it's face-to-face arguing and he tries to watch tv while we 'discuss' things.