A little more from my past...
Jan. 9th, 2005 09:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
This is from when I was 17. I am so confused - today is my one year anniversary w/Dan. I love him - he loves me - BUT there is Jay who is seeing my friend Laura. Jay and I are attracted to each other but daren't Yes, I used the word 'daren't. Pathetic do anything - because of Dan & Laura. I don't want to loose I sucked at spelling Dan - but Jan and I are having such problems, we spend time together and we both know we are avoiding the subject...I don't want to cheat on Dan - again oops and I don't want to hurt Laura, and I don't want to lose spelled right that time Jay's friendship.
For the record, One Friday Laura broke up with Jay, and I invited him to hang out with my best friend Trish and myself, and he wound up with Trish. Until Laura found out, and then she took Jay back, and he spent the remainder of the year going back and forth between them both, angsting worse than Harry Potter, with me acting as peacemaker for all parties involved. It was a whole thing.
The really sad thing is we never had the opportunity to get together after high school and laugh about how silly the whole thing was. When Jay was 20 years old, he committed suicide. He never got out of the 'angst' stage of life, I guess.
If I could offer advice to young me, or to any young people reading this, and you know who you are, it would be this. Don't take it so darned seriously. Don't jump into a heavily sexual relationship because no matter how little you think it matters, it does change your relationship - intimacy offers problems you shouldn't have to deal with until you are older. Date, have fun, but don't worry too soon about love. There's plenty of time for that.
For the record, One Friday Laura broke up with Jay, and I invited him to hang out with my best friend Trish and myself, and he wound up with Trish. Until Laura found out, and then she took Jay back, and he spent the remainder of the year going back and forth between them both, angsting worse than Harry Potter, with me acting as peacemaker for all parties involved. It was a whole thing.
The really sad thing is we never had the opportunity to get together after high school and laugh about how silly the whole thing was. When Jay was 20 years old, he committed suicide. He never got out of the 'angst' stage of life, I guess.
If I could offer advice to young me, or to any young people reading this, and you know who you are, it would be this. Don't take it so darned seriously. Don't jump into a heavily sexual relationship because no matter how little you think it matters, it does change your relationship - intimacy offers problems you shouldn't have to deal with until you are older. Date, have fun, but don't worry too soon about love. There's plenty of time for that.