And now the Baby Sitter Dilemma, in Poll form

[charliesmum]

Basically the situation is this. My sitter told me she was going to start asking for an extrra $25 a week for 'entertainment expenses' during the summer, so she can take the boys places. I already told her once that I couldn't afford to pay her any more than I already am, and, while I'm willing to give money for Charlie, $25 a week sounds like she is expecting me to pay for both boys. (She's done that before. She wanted to take them somewhere, and when I gave her the fee for Charlie, she said she needed the fee for both boys.) My friend is planning on staying home this whole summer, and offered to take Charlie (I'd pay her) but I declined, because I didn't want to take the money away from my current sitter, but this situation is just getting on my last nerve. So...Poll.

[Poll #509749]

Comments

[october31st.livejournal.com]

As I started to say in the comment box:

It's awkward, but if it's not imposing too much on your friend, I'd say take her offer. You are a person with limited resources who can afford to pay up to a certain amount. The sitter is not happy with the certain amount. She'd probably be happier finding work that CAN provide that for her. Which is not to say you're a cheapskate in ANY sense - you just know your limits, and you shouldn't hurt yourself trying to accommodate someone else before yourself.

[lietya.livejournal.com]

(I wouldn't ordinarily be so demanding/strict with a babysitter, but a) she's attempted to "cheat" you out of money for the other boy in the past and b) if this causes her to pitch a fit and quit, well, you know pretty well what was about to go on - and you're spared having to fire her!)

[chaosdancer.livejournal.com]

I dunno...if I knew she was going to be taking both kids somewhere that she wouldn't ordinarily be able to take just her son (or her son wouldn't have asked if it wasn't for the peer pressure factor), then I might kick in a little bit once in a while, but certainly not $25 extra a week. Like, for instance, it's not a whole lot of fun to take one kid to an amusement park because they wouldn't have anyone to go on rides with, but if you take two kids, they'd have a lot more fun. In that special circumstance, I wouldn't mind bribing my babysitter for enhancing my son's experience. OTOH, if it's just things like going to the zoo where you don't need to be "paired" with anyone to have a good time, I wouldn't expect to have to pay for her kid for anything.

I could be totally off the mark here, and feel free to tell me to shut up if I am. :)

[silverhill.livejournal.com]

Another element to consider is who Charlie would do better with. Who does he like more? Who can handle him easier?

Other than that, I'd say ditch the current babysitter. You've had trouble with her in the past, and, at least from an outsider perspective, it seems like she's more trouble than she's worth. And if you give her the extra $25 a week, soon it's going to be gas money or more money in general or you providing her with food or something.

You shouldn't feel guilty. (Unless, of course, you promised current babysitter that you'd always use her or would otherwise be going back on your word.) You need to do what's going to work for you.

[jessii-6.livejournal.com]

I can't tell you if you should take your friends offer or not, this is something you need to think about yourself.
I can tell you that your babysitter is a manipulative leech, however. You are too nice and should have got rid of her long ago.

[cactus-wren.livejournal.com]

I'd tell your babysitter you are willing to pay for Charlie to do extra activites on an as needed basis. She tells you where they are going and how much she'll need, you provide the money, she presents receipts when you pick him up for the day. There is no reason for you to pay for her child, is she just taking him there to do something with him and Charlie? Would she have paid to take him to wherever anyhow, or not taken her son as she can't afford it? She what I'm saying in all that babble?
If she isn't happy with your answer, take your other friend up on her offer. - Providing it is a situation that will still leave Charlie happy. Sounds like that friend is pretty generous, offering to take him like that. Will this friend be able to take him when school starts back up too? Or will you need to go back to the old sitter/ find a new one for the school year?
It just sounds like she is once again taking advantage of your kindness and trying to make sure she gets something more out of it than she should.
Good luck, keep us posted.

[bass-babe.livejournal.com]

if she needs an extra $25 a week, that is outrageous. She should only need extra funds (admission) for places when YOU agree to the outing. If she wants to take them out, thats her business. NO parent is expected to pay for more than one or two 'fiedl trips' a month. CERTAINLY not $25 a WEEK! Shes trying to milk it!

From the mouth of a former sitter.

[erynnef.livejournal.com]

When I take my cousins to the circus every year, I pay for their tickets. If I invite them, I pay. Their mom forks out money for food or gifts, and I take care of the rest.

If your sitter chooses to take your son somewhere, and she has, Im guessing, her child with her, there is no way you should have to pay for both kids!!

What kind of entertainment does she need to do every week? There is so much to do in this area, and there is really no money involved!

[erynnef.livejournal.com]

And Im the one who said drink heavily.

It's what I would do. Specially if I was going to give someone an extra $100 a month.

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

I would tell the babysitter two words: "You're fired."

And then I would take my friend up on her offer.

Seriously, this does sound like the sitter is trying to take you for a ride. Now it's entertainment expenses, and next it's going to be food expenses, and after that gas money. Ditch the babysitter now.

[sixth-light.livejournal.com]

Say no.

As someone whose primary source of extra income is babysitting, I think that's pretty ridiculous. $25 is quite a bit of money. Children do need to get out, but not that much, and there are plenty of places you can take kids (library, park, swimming pool) that don't cost very much at all, especially if you've got your own transport. As a babysitter I would expect the parent to tell me if they especially wanted the child taken somewhere that cost money, and give me that money. If I had my own child, I'd expect them to pay for my child only if it was somewhere that I would/could not take my child normally.

But the question you really need to ask yourself is whether you would spend that much money to take your son places in the summer, if you were looking after him during the day.

[fourthage.livejournal.com]

As a babysitter I would expect the parent to tell me if they especially wanted the child taken somewhere that cost money, and give me that money.

Exactly. That's always how it's worked for me, and I've done both the occasional and all-summer types of babysitting. If you can't bring yourself to go with your friend, tell your sitter that you and she will sit down at the beginning of each week and discuss where she wants to go and what the related expenses will be. That way you can veto any trips you aren't willing to foot the bill for. I'm guessing your sitter is thinking in terms of $5 a day, but really, there's lot sof places to go for free and she could easily pack a lunch rather than buy while out.

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

That's pretty much what I think. I'm willing to give her money sometimes, but the $25 just seemed excessive. And Charlie doesn't really like going to places where there are crowds. He's happy staying at the pool all day.

[fourthage.livejournal.com]

Maybe she doesn't want to stay at the pool all day. In which case, I sympathize, 'cause pools aren't my thing either, but it's a job, not her personal time. So in effect, with the extra $25 you're paying for her time twice, and you shouldn't have to do that.

(Damn, I'm in a bitchy mood today.)

[nam-jai.livejournal.com]

I don't think you should have to pay fees for anyone but Charlie. But I did wonder when you said your friend is willing to take him for the summer: What happens in the fall? Will there be another sitter to take over? Or could you go back to the original sitter after skipping the whole summer?

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

What happens in the fall?

It is possible my friend would be able to take Charlie in the fall too, I'd have to check. It's likely she'd be watching her own son at that time, so it might work out.

And thanks for your comment!