Cuz she's still preoccupied with 1985

[charliesmum]

So I have one month to get in shape (or buy some sort of special undergarment) and do something fabulous with my life, as my 20th High School reunion is on July 9th.

A friend of mine, who I've known since I was 5 years old and speak to only occasionally, called to make sure I was going, and it just hit me, hard. 20 year reunions are for old people,' shouts the young person still inside me, 'how did this happen?'

It's funny how the things you are so sure are important and will remain important fade away as life goes on. I actually have to pause to remember names of boys I had crushes on, and girls who got on my nerves. I look back on the writing I did then and laugh at the soul-wrenching angst over things that matter so little now.

I think of the things that were important then, the dreams I had, the person I thought I was and the person I wanted to be and I do feel a sense of loss. Not because I'm terribly unhappy with my life, but because 20 years ago all I had were dreams, and life was nothing but vast potential. I'm not sorry for who I am now, but I mourn sometimes the loss of the person I thought I would be.

I don't actually remember much from my graduation, other than the valedictorian (one of the Girls who Got on my Nerves) gave what was probably the stupidest speech ever, it mentioned things like rainbows and fluffy kittens or something, sounding like something off one of the cheesier Halmark cards. Other than that, it was all a bit of a blur. Things like that always are.

I remember more clearly the rehearsal the day before, held in the school's gym. I was wearing this black sleeveless shirt that had, in neon writing, "1985, Orwell Was Wrong", that I thought was just tres witty. The rehersal was a was a long and boring process, and one guy sitting in front of my best friend and me kept saying 'We're going to get destructive!' making us giggle madly. I was trying very hard to make the moment as sentimental as possible, I told my friend, and kept saying things like 'this is the last time we'll be in this gym,' and, 'this is the last time we'll ever walk through these doors.'

So naturally we had to go back in the building several times, and never noticed which time was the last.

Comments

[purplemer3.livejournal.com]

My high school graduation was only four years ago, and already I've forgotten the details, the names of some of my classmates, what I did everyday in high school for four long years. What I remember is that we all threw our caps at the end of the ceremony, even though we had been explicitly instructed not to because the principal was concerned the corners of the falling caps would poke someone's eye out.

I can't wait until my first reunion. Though perhaps by the time that rolls around, I won't be so intent on spitting at my childhood enemies' feet.

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

I didn't throw my cap very high, as I really wanted the tassel!

I think our principal told us not to throw them also. Maybe it's just a way to cover their backs if someone does poke their eye out!

[meadowrue.livejournal.com]

My 10 year *would* have been a couple years ago but noone organized one. I remember, in high school, people saying how those would be the best days in our lives. I had a pretty ok high school experience but I wouldn't trade my life now to go back!
And you are still full of untapped potential just sans over-emotional teen angst!

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

And you are still full of untapped potential just sans over-emotional teen angst!

That's a nice way of looking at it!

[jessii-6.livejournal.com]

Ahh.. the graduation...
I don't actually remember much from my graduation, other than the valedictorian (one of the Girls who Got on my Nerves) gave what was probably the stupidest speech ever, it mentioned things like rainbows and fluffy kittens or something, sounding like something off one of the cheesier Halmark cards. I don't remember who gave our speech - if anyone did, actualy. It was a big important ordeal and they made us march. That's right. We marched. It required us to practice for ages, simply because they were afraid that walking is too difficult for us (you see, all the previous years just *stood* - but not us, we *marched*, to horrible music and had a very fat guy that marched with the flags in the beginning of the farce). We, too, trew our berets into the air.

As for buying some sort of special undergarment. Common. You're a babe. You are pretty and look you look good great. In fact, you'll see just how good you look when you'll see how bad all the rest will *evil laugh*. Just don't cut your hair in the week prior.

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

Awwww....thanks! *blushes*

[cactus-wren.livejournal.com]

My 20 is this summer, too. Except I have absolutely no intention of going, so I don't have the whole do something fabulous & get in shape issue. I live about 25 minutes from where I went to high school, and of all the places in the Greater Cleveland area they could have the damn reunion, they're having it at a hall less than 5 minutes from my house. And yet, I still have no intention of going. There is a small handful of people from school that I wonder about - how they are, where they live, etc and so on - but I find I don't care enough to drag myself there to find out. If I knew for a fact that Matt, Scott, Michelle, Jeff, Dave, and Robin would be there, it might change my mind. Or not.
I know everyone always says 'it's not like high school at all' and 'the cliques don't exist anymore, everyone is really friendly and the football captain is paunchy and balding and the head cheerleader is the size of a house now', but I don't believe any of it. I remember what these people were like 20 years ago, and have a hard time believing any of them changed that drastically. Bitter, me?

it just hit me, hard. 20 year reunions are for old people,
No kidding. I can't believe it's been that long. At the time of my ten year (no, didn't go to that one either), it was like, 'ten years, no big deal - but twenty years? AUGH. Makes me feel really old. Also makes me look and wonder what I've done with my life in that time. Yes, I went to and graduated college, became a good(ish) wife and good mother, but what else have I done? Not much, and that bachelor's degree is proving to be a waste of time and money. Maybe that's part of the reason I don't want to go. Bah, who knows.

Regardless, I hope you have a great time, and post afterwards and tell us about it. Maybe it'll change my mind for my 25 or 30. Heh.

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

You sound like my friend Trish, who has said on several occasions that she sees everyone she wants to see from High School, and never wants to see any one else because she didn't like them back then, so why bother now? :)

I remember at the 10th how much older the boys looked then the girls. I wonder if that will be reversed now.

And if nothing else I have Charlie to brag about, right? (and I can make out that 2 articles published is a bigger thing than it is, I guess.)

[cactus-wren.livejournal.com]

she sees everyone she wants to see from High School, and never wants to see any one else because she didn't like them back then, so why bother now?

Yeah, except I don't see anyone from high school. I take that back - there is one woman who lives in my town from my graduating class. I was good friends with her in elementary school, not so much in jr high and high schools. She became one of the very popular people, I did not hang with that crowd. My oldest is the same age as her youngest, and I ran into her a few weeks back and she spent 10 minutes trying to convince me to go to the reunion. I think I finally convinced her she was wasting her time.

I remember at the 10th how much older the boys looked then the girls. I wonder if that will be reversed now.


Ooh, I bet the girls won't like that thought at all! You'll have to let me know if that's the case.

And if nothing else I have Charlie to brag about, right?

Absolutely! My girls are my best and proudest accomplishment of my life. They give me alot to brag about, everyday. But it's still not enough to make me go, LOL.

[silverhill.livejournal.com]

kept saying things like 'this is the last time we'll be in this gym,' and, 'this is the last time we'll ever walk through these doors.'

So naturally we had to go back in the building several times, and never noticed which time was the last.

This amuses me so much! It's funny and sweetly naive. :)


Next year is my 10-year reunion (assuming they have one). I probably won't go because it's not a priority for me. There's this weird competition of perspectives. On one hand, it seems like ages ago I was in high school. On the other hand, I think "10 years?! Really?! That's so long!" ... On one hand I feel old. I remember when my parents were in their late 20s. Surely I can't be almost 28! And the fact that time seems to go so much faster now, I know I'll be 40 in the blink of an eye. On the other hand, what is old? 18 seems so young to me. And when I was in high school and I read that a 50-year-old died, I'd think "Well, he was old." Now I think, "That's so young!" Plus, in high school and college, my friends were all my age. Now my friends are younger than my little brother, to my age, to mid-30s and even my parents' age!

[crossbow1.livejournal.com]

K, how bad is this: I haven't even been INVITED to any of my high school reunions. Apparently they lost all the records of my class, so the organizers decided to invite people by word of mout - they invited all of their friends, who invited all of their friends, and so on. By the time i even found out about it, it was only 2 days before the reunion! Anyway, that was the 10-year. The 20-year will be in 2006. Wonder if I'll get invited this time?

Our valedictorian was really awesome. His speech was comparing high school to an airplane horror movie.