What have I done to deserve this...

Seriously. Is it because I don't go to church? Don't vote Republican? Stepped on the wrong ant? I just don't get my life.

It's around 10:30 at night. I'm at my parents house. I can't sleep because I've just had a rather disturbing discussion argument with my parents. It started with my dad yelling at me about Charlie. I'm 37 years old and he's shouting at me like I'm twelve and didn't do my math homework correctly because Charlie wouldn't go to sleep in his own bed. I haven't seen him since Tuesday (he was visiting with my parents) and he really missed me, and wanted to sleep in my bed, and I've learned that sometimes it is easier just to give in. So my dad and I yell at each other, which made Charlie cry, which made me cry - it was a whole thing.

So things calm down somewhat, Charlie stops crying and goes to bed, then my mother, winning the "Most Insensitive Thing To Say" award tells me the reason my dad is yelling at me about how horribly I raise my own child is because 'everyone' thinks my husband is a big fat jerk, that my house is too messy and how we all need psychiatric help. This from a woman who would literally go into Beserker mode every time she picked up a dust mop. Seriously. My sisters and I would literally hide when she started cleaning because she would use that time to rail against everything and anyone that got in the way. It was scary.

Anyway, I would have just left, but home is an hour away, and Charlie was already upset enough. So here I am, typing my troubles into cyberspace because I've been crying and I can't sleep.

It says something when I feel like the only place I can go to unburden myself of my troubles is to a handful of virtual strangers.

I can't talk to my husband about my parents, because he hates them, and I can't talk to my parents about my husband because they hate him, and I can't talk to anyone about anything because then I'll get the 'told you so' attitude.

The worst part is, Much of what my mom said is true. I do feel like my life is rather falling apart at times, what with the job situation being weird and all, and I honestly have no one to turn to. I have my friends, of course, but they have their own issues. They will listen sympathetically, but that's about all they can do.

I know they mean well, but it just makes me feel very, very alone. I'm so tired of being judged. I'm tired of worrying about things. I wasn't built for this. I keep finding myself in situations I'm just not good at handling.

I need a fairy godmother.

What have I done to deserve this...

Seriously. Is it because I don't go to church? Don't vote Republican? Stepped on the wrong ant? I just don't get my life.

It's around 10:30 at night. I'm at my parents house. I can't sleep because I've just had a rather disturbing discussion argument with my parents. It started with my dad yelling at me about Charlie. I'm 37 years old and he's shouting at me like I'm twelve and didn't do my math homework correctly because Charlie wouldn't go to sleep in his own bed. I haven't seen him since Tuesday (he was visiting with my parents) and he really missed me, and wanted to sleep in my bed, and I've learned that sometimes it is easier just to give in. So my dad and I yell at each other, which made Charlie cry, which made me cry - it was a whole thing.

So things calm down somewhat, Charlie stops crying and goes to bed, then my mother, winning the "Most Insensitive Thing To Say" award tells me the reason my dad is yelling at me about how horribly I raise my own child is because 'everyone' thinks my husband is a big fat jerk, that my house is too messy and how we all need psychiatric help. This from a woman who would literally go into Beserker mode every time she picked up a dust mop. Seriously. My sisters and I would literally hide when she started cleaning because she would use that time to rail against everything and anyone that got in the way. It was scary.

Anyway, I would have just left, but home is an hour away, and Charlie was already upset enough. So here I am, typing my troubles into cyberspace because I've been crying and I can't sleep.

It says something when I feel like the only place I can go to unburden myself of my troubles is to a handful of virtual strangers.

I can't talk to my husband about my parents, because he hates them, and I can't talk to my parents about my husband because they hate him, and I can't talk to anyone about anything because then I'll get the 'told you so' attitude.

The worst part is, Much of what my mom said is true. I do feel like my life is rather falling apart at times, what with the job situation being weird and all, and I honestly have no one to turn to. I have my friends, of course, but they have their own issues. They will listen sympathetically, but that's about all they can do.

I know they mean well, but it just makes me feel very, very alone. I'm so tired of being judged. I'm tired of worrying about things. I wasn't built for this. I keep finding myself in situations I'm just not good at handling.

I need a fairy godmother.