Am not happy

Self-pitying rant below. Ignore if you want. Just needed to get the thoughts out of my head.

I've come to the conclusion that I have no marketable skills. I think I'm pretty good at writing, but as an actual marketable skill, that's pretty iffy, because thare aren't that many jobs that pay you to sit around and write stuff you think of, and the jobs that do exist probably have about a million people waiting for the person currently holding the position to die.

And...you know...I wish I had the rock hard faith that people like George Bush seem to have. They honestly believe that God makes things happen for a reason, and that the truly good can never really be punished. I just feel very lonely right now because, while I believe in God, I don't really believe He is getting ready to hand out some dios ex machina solution to my particular problem. I have trouble believing in the light at the end of the tunnel, or the silver lining on the cloud, because I've seen precious little evidence of it so far.

I do believe in Karma, but Karma, while good at helping one accept whatever life dishes out with good grace doesn't really lend itsself to much comfort. Saying 'it's karma' just makes me think I must have done something kind of horrible at some point in this life or my past one.

And I'd like to think that maybe the universe is forcing me into a position where I'll be forced to do something - like JK Rowling wrote Harry Potter because she pretty much had nothing else going for her at the time, and this would be a lot more comforting if I could have some sort of guarentee that this was actually the route the universe had planned for me.

I know things could be much, much worse. I know there are people whose straits are more dire than mine, but I'm still pretty bloody depressed about the state of my life right now.

Am not happy

Self-pitying rant below. Ignore if you want. Just needed to get the thoughts out of my head.

I've come to the conclusion that I have no marketable skills. I think I'm pretty good at writing, but as an actual marketable skill, that's pretty iffy, because thare aren't that many jobs that pay you to sit around and write stuff you think of, and the jobs that do exist probably have about a million people waiting for the person currently holding the position to die.

And...you know...I wish I had the rock hard faith that people like George Bush seem to have. They honestly believe that God makes things happen for a reason, and that the truly good can never really be punished. I just feel very lonely right now because, while I believe in God, I don't really believe He is getting ready to hand out some dios ex machina solution to my particular problem. I have trouble believing in the light at the end of the tunnel, or the silver lining on the cloud, because I've seen precious little evidence of it so far.

I do believe in Karma, but Karma, while good at helping one accept whatever life dishes out with good grace doesn't really lend itsself to much comfort. Saying 'it's karma' just makes me think I must have done something kind of horrible at some point in this life or my past one.

And I'd like to think that maybe the universe is forcing me into a position where I'll be forced to do something - like JK Rowling wrote Harry Potter because she pretty much had nothing else going for her at the time, and this would be a lot more comforting if I could have some sort of guarentee that this was actually the route the universe had planned for me.

I know things could be much, much worse. I know there are people whose straits are more dire than mine, but I'm still pretty bloody depressed about the state of my life right now.