(no subject)

I've been feeling very melocholy lately. I

Part of it, I think, is that it has been just about a year since I moved out of my house and my marriage, and I'm in that 'now what' stage.

I also feel like I'm swinging between never wanting another romantic relationship ever and worrying that I am going to die alone to be eaten by dogs.

The problem is most of the single men I seem to come across are way too young. Now, I know there's nothing wrong with being a 'cougar', but I have a hard time feeling romantic toward someone who was an infant when I was in high school.

So that brings us to men who are closer to my age. Generally it seems that a single, 40-something man who isn't gay or severely disfunctional is more likely to be interested in dating someone younger, skinnier, prettier and more childless than me.

And also I'm picky. I have a large, very specific list of criteria for the next man in my life, and I'm pretty sure that anyone who fits that discription is fictional.

So...I'm not unhappy at where I am in my life; I just wonder if it is where I'm going to be forever.

I'm also feeling discontented with my Shakespeare Company. All the joy seems to have gone out of it for me. I don't want to lose that part of my life, and I'm not sure what to do about it.

I need an adventure.

(no subject)

I've been feeling very melocholy lately. I

Part of it, I think, is that it has been just about a year since I moved out of my house and my marriage, and I'm in that 'now what' stage.

I also feel like I'm swinging between never wanting another romantic relationship ever and worrying that I am going to die alone to be eaten by dogs.

The problem is most of the single men I seem to come across are way too young. Now, I know there's nothing wrong with being a 'cougar', but I have a hard time feeling romantic toward someone who was an infant when I was in high school.

So that brings us to men who are closer to my age. Generally it seems that a single, 40-something man who isn't gay or severely disfunctional is more likely to be interested in dating someone younger, skinnier, prettier and more childless than me.

And also I'm picky. I have a large, very specific list of criteria for the next man in my life, and I'm pretty sure that anyone who fits that discription is fictional.

So...I'm not unhappy at where I am in my life; I just wonder if it is where I'm going to be forever.

I'm also feeling discontented with my Shakespeare Company. All the joy seems to have gone out of it for me. I don't want to lose that part of my life, and I'm not sure what to do about it.

I need an adventure.