For the parents of Autistic Children

[charliesmum]

I've just gotten a new friend who's son just got the PDD diagnosis, and she is, naturally, dealing with quite a bit of emotion right now. It made me think back to when Charlie got his diagnosis, and I thought I'd share it here, and am asking those of you with Autistic children (or family members) to share your stories as well. It might make her feel a little better.

During my lamaze class, the teacher pointed out that all women carry three children - the perfect child, the child that has everything possible wrong with it, and the real child. I'd been a bit worried, as one of the tests had come back kind of wonky, so there was this slight chance Charlie could be born with Spina Bifida or Down's or something. He wasn't, I was relieved, and settled into being a mom.

Looking back on it now, of course, I can see all the signs, but I was a new mother, and nothing was really 'off' so I just didn't really know that anything was wrong. But Charlie couldn't sit up properly, he had this habit of arching his back and looking at the world upside down, and, as he got older, he rarely made eye contact. He also didn't walk until he was almost two, and didn't talk. By that point I had taken him to some specialists, and he was diagnosed with 'Developmental Delay'. So fine. He got speech therapy, OT, was making progress, and I thought all was well.

Then, right before Christmas in 1999 the day care told me they couldn't watch Charlie any more. He was aggressive, impulsive, and kept pusing little kids down. I found him another day care that he started in the New Year, and he got kicked out of that one in two weeks. I found another one. Three weeks later he was out of that as well. No one could handle him. I found a private sitter, her son had developmental delay, and so I thought I was good. Nope. That didn't work either.

In the midst of all this I'd taken him to another neurologist and that's when I got the diagnosis. PDD/NOS, on the Autism spectrum.

It was, in a way, a relief. At least I knew there was reasons behind his recent behavior. The worst part was just not understanding what Autism was. In the few psychology classes I'd taken, I was under the impression that all Autistic people couldn't function at all in society, and it was really scary and saddening.

Fortunately my doctor was quick to assure me that there are varying degrees of Autism, and even the more severe versions aren't as hopeless as we were once led to believe. That made me feel a bit better, and over the years I've come to view Autism as not so much a 'disorder' as an extra dimention to Charlie's life. And in a way, the dignosis was a relief, too. Now I knew why Charlie was having troubles, and I knew I could do something about it. And there is plenty that can be done. Once upon a time kids with Autism would be sent to an institution, now there is therapy and diets and all kinds of things that help the child's 'recovery'.

Anyone who reads my blog for any time will see that Charlie is a bright, loving, amusing child, and I am very lucky, I think, because the Autism has kept me from taking any of his milestones for granted.

I cried the day I got the diagnosis, but now, if an angel came to me and asked if I wanted the Autism taken away, I don't know that I would say yes. It's a challenge, and it always will be, but it's also made Charlie who he is, and I could never give that up.

Comments

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

And sometimes I cry because the little boy he used to be grew into the junior giant who tells me I'm the best mom in the world. Awwwwwww...that is so sweet.

Sounds to me like ya done good, esp. since you had military doctors only to help you out.