I'm a white male aged 18-35. Everyone listens to me. - Homer Simpso

[charliesmum]

It's blog against racism week, according to slammerkinbabe and october31st, and both of them wrote really fantastic entries on this already, so I'm going to keep mine simple, and just tell a story.

My father was born in 1940, and had grown up in a working class neighborhood right outside of Philadelphia. my mother, born in 1944, grew up in the more upper-middle class neighborhoods of Haddonfield and Cherry Hill. I mention this only to point out that they came from a time and place where racism was more likely to be expected, yet neither of them ever exhibited that overt racism that some of our neighbors, their contemporaries did.

Oh, there was some prejudice; you know, of the 'some of my best friends are black' variety, but they did the best they could, and certainly made it plain to us that hating someone because of the way they look was not on.

While I was growing up the television was full of people pointing out how we should all clasp hands in brotherhood and friendship. Heck, Pa Ingalls probably did it once a week. My parents, as I said, didn't raise us to judge a person by his race. My mother marched for civil rights, even. It was The Age of Aquarius, for heaven's sake. People didn't do that sort of thing anymore, I thought. I grew up believing that.

And now I'd like to believe that in this internet age we really stop worrying about what people look like as we build these online friendships where the only black and white involved is the page color and fonts.

Mostly what I'd like to believe is that, despite the prejudice that was lurking on the edges of my childhood, I have grown up 100% free of any prejudice, but I doubt it.

When I was around 6 years old, I remember going to the mall with some of the neighborhood kids. I think we might have been going to see a movie or something, I can't remember. We were in a department store arguing over who got to sit in the bean bag chair that was on display. I lost, and wandered away, feeling sorry for myself. A few minutes later my friend came back and told me I could sit in the chair because she didn't want to any more, because some black kid sat in it.

I honestly couldn't understand what she was talking about, but I remember feeling hurt because she implied it was okay that I was exposed to whatever it was she was afraid she would be exposed to. I had no idea why it was bad that a black kid sat on the chair, but I understood that it was bad, and it worried me.

I didn't sit on the chair.

Comments

[october31st.livejournal.com]

Ha, I've always loved the quote in the title. In one MST3K episode, somebody wisecracks, "This is what you get for not being a white male!!"

jandyle left a comment in my entry that I agree with - everybody, to one degree or another, have racial tension within them. It's just the way we are. It just depends on how much you choose to encourage it.

[darkthirty.livejournal.com]

but THAT is never the point - the point is to oppose racism, in all cases. THAT is ALL that matters. not the bean bag chair.

though, as a matter of form, you might try a ritual around that, cmom.

[october31st.livejournal.com]

Well, my particular point is that we have to recognize the good and the bad within us, rather than pretending we're perfect ourselves, and then go from there. I am certainly actively opposed to racism and prejudice, but I do not think I myself am free of all prejudices. Let he who is without sin, etc. :)

[darkthirty.livejournal.com]

but it's claptrap. someone started saying this long after the civil right movement - in order to appease those liberals who may have had something in their past.

I don't believe it, I disagree with it. That, however, is not relevant. Fighting racism is relevant. THAT was my point.

[october31st.livejournal.com]

If you are free of all prejudices of any sort whatsoever, I applaud you and look up to your example. I'm sure we can both agree fighting racism is important.

[darkthirty.livejournal.com]

You sound like you're being snarky here. I was just stating my opinion that "everyone is racist" is more of a concession to not hurting feelings than a truth. Please don't be snarky because I disagree with you.

[october31st.livejournal.com]

I never said 'everyone is racist.' I said everyone has prejudices of some sort. I can acknowledge both that my mother's intense dislike of blacks has unfortunately caused me to be uncomfortable around those I don't know (something I have always fought against within myself, and succeeded, though itws so little as to be unnoticeable), and that I think SUV drivers are mostly jerks on the road. Both are unfair generalizations. Everyone has these. I don't see a recognition of complicated, contrary human nature as a concession to 'not hurting feelings', an OK-ing of racism, as it were. Rather, I am saying, "everyone has prejudices, which is WHY it's so important to work with each other as peacefully as possible to combat them. We're all human." See the difference?

If you read snarkiness in that comment, I don't know what to say. I do believe everyone has their own prejudices to fight, and that often they are race-related - how can they not be, when we allparticipate in a society that still in in some ways divided by race? But I respect your right to disagree.

[darkthirty.livejournal.com]

But "we're all human", again with the generalization, means, what, that anything is allowed, as human? Why the need to generalize, to have some WORD or such that is some kind of answer? Once you allow a generalization like that (a truism as well, in this case) then what follows? That is why I refuse to acquiesce to such vague things - they can be used to discriminate and justify all kinds of brutal things.

No simple sentence is going to cover all things. X situation or Y person or Z law is or is not racist. Generalization end up being argued about for no good reason. All that matters, again, as I have said, is the particular situation. Generalizations are for the lazy or the weak minded.

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

you might try a ritual around that, cmom. What kind of ritual?

[darkthirty.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure, but something about the nature of that memory signalled to me a latent sense of imbalance, or of something left undone, for yourself.

Now, I'm not big on ritual for much, but if something hangs in memory like a cringe, well, it's an valid opinion, eh?