Odd sort of ethical connundrum

[charliesmum]

So, we're watching Wheel of Fortune, and of the three contestants, one was African American. At the end of the show, Charlie says, 'The brown-faced boy didn't win anything.' He's used 'brown-faced' before in describing people, but it's a fairly new thing.

I don't personally see anything wrong with it. I am confident that Charlie makes no distinction between people other then what their personality warrants, but I'm wondering, do you think it could be construed as rude or offensive? Should I correct him? What would I say?

Comments

[lietya.livejournal.com]

Would he accept substituting "black," or is that only reasonable to him in cases where the person actually appears more black than brown? (Not that he wouldn't be *right*....) Even "brown" might be a reasonable alternative. He's also a sympathetic kid; if you were to tell him people might mind being called that, I bet he'd be willing to try something else.

However, "brown-faced" is less likely to be rude or offensive than weird, I suspect; if your worry is only about upsetting people, chances are they'll realize he's got a somewhat unusual take on the world based on the quirky phrasing, and make allowances. If you're also worried about him standing out as weird, though, it might be worth trying alternate suggestions.

I actually think it's kind of cute, but then, I call myself "green." :)

[dindin.livejournal.com]

I think the thing is that you know Charlie and you know it's simply a statement of fact with him, but other people don't. Can you explain to him that sometimes people with different color skin are referred to in a particular way? That it's polite to refer to them as "Black" or "African-American", meaning that their parents parents may have come from Africa?

[hairymonster.livejournal.com]

Mmmmm personally I wouldn't ascribe anything more to it than if he had said "the red haired boy" or "the short boy". I'd guess its just a descriptive term. Only you really know your son and I'd trust your instincts

[ligia-sis.livejournal.com]

My sister who is mentally handicapped calls her black friends "my friends with brown-skin". I don't see anything wrong with what Charlie said, but, like previous poster said, you could tell him what is normally said.

[cherydactyl.livejournal.com]

I'd say take it an an opportunity. If it were me, I would reply, "You're right, the african-american contestant didn't have much luck did he?"

And leave it at that. He'll get it over time.

[slammerkinbabe.livejournal.com]

You know, I almost like his referring to black people that way, because it's so clearly like - he looks at a person with brown skin and sees... a person with brown skin. Not a "black person", with the whole boatload of assumptions and stereotypes that come along with that... When he gets older it would be problematic for him to reduce race to a skin color, yes, but honestly, I think a lot of my own internalized racism comes from the fact that I was taught from an early age that "black" was an inherent part of people's identity and it meant this thing and that thing and the other thing. I guess I think it's kind of neat for a nine-year-old to look at someone of a different race and make no assumptions other than that their skin is a different color. (Or face, in his phrasing.)

I mean I know race *is* part of people's identity, but I feel like I would have done better to think of black people as "people with brown skin" when I was younger, and then learned more about the identity aspects when I was older. I don't know, maybe growing up in a racist household has messed me up on this point. And none of this is addressing your question, which is, are people likely to take offense? And I think it would depend on the person and I am also not the person to be asking, so I will be quiet. But I guess I think it's kind of neat that Charlie thinks that way.

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

That's kind of how I feel. I asked him yesterday what color skin he had, and he said "Peach".