Insert cursing here.

[charliesmum]

In the words of Hugh Grant in Four Weddings and a Funeral, fuckadoodledoo.

I just got a notice from school saying Charlie was cautioned because he told a boy he 'sucked because he is black'. Charlie says he didn't say that. I'm fairly certain he didn't. It is just not something he would say. Not unless he was influenced by some other kid, because really. There are many things he may do, but being a racist little bugger isn't one of them.

Once again, this is gym class, with no bloody supervision for these children. Arugh.

Here's the email I just sent the teacher:

I just got the notice in the mail about an incident with Charlie in gym class. Charlie is accused of saying a boy sucked 'because he is black'.

First of all, I would very much appreciate it if I would get called immediately in these types of situations, because hearing about it two days later makes it harder for me to get the story from Charlie.

He had trouble telling me exactly what happened, but he did say he never made that comment, and that he thinks it was because he said he, Charlie, sucked, because he was on the wrong team, or something.

I would also like to know if a person in authority heard Charlie say what he is being accused of saying, and where exactly it happened. Was an adult present who heard him say this, or was this reported to a teacher by another child? If another child said Charlie said this, I would like to know why that child's word was taken over Charlie's.

Skin color is an abstract concept that really doesn't register with Charlie. He will describe people as having white skin or brown skin when he is describing them, but to him that is the same as saying they have blue eyes and brown hair.

I wouldn't put it past him to say something or someone sucked, but saying 'because you are black' is not something that would come out of his mouth. Not unless other children in the school are saying it repeatedly in front of him.

I'm extremely upset about this, partially because if Charlie is spewing racist comments, he is NOT getting it from home,so I worry about who is influencing him, and also because this is not the first time he's gotten in trouble for something during gym class because of other people's mis-interpreting him, and I am afraid he's going to have the same problems in gym class as he did last year.

I'm just....gah. If Charlie DID say that, I don't even know where to begin.

Comments

[pinguthegreek.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I think the reply you wrote is excellent.

I wonder, would you consider insisting that Charlie is supervised during gym for his own protection ? I know it sounds a bit drastic, but if the school perceives that Charlie says these things that would be inappropriate if he really did say them ( I can see why he wouldn't think to say what they allege, don't worry ) then it's surely in their interest to make sure someone is with him at all times. Or would you be uncomfortable with that ? It just seems like the only way to protect someone who may not be able to judge things for himself.

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm toying with that idea. That and just pulling him from gym class completely. He's not too keen on that idea though.

[pinguthegreek.livejournal.com]

I was going to suggest that too, but it does seem drastic and I did wonder if gym was compulsory. Charlie's lucky to have a mum who will stick up for him.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I would insist on a para for gym. Put it in an IEP.

[slammerkinbabe.livejournal.com]

I only know Charlie at second hand of course, but I know that you take this sort of thing seriously and would talk about it if you saw it happening, and I know what I do read of him on your journal, and I have to say that if I had to think of a kid who was less likely to say such a thing than Charlie-as-I-know-him, I would have to think a really really really long time and probably wouldn't get anywhere anyway.

If he did somehow wind up saying that, though, I do know you and I know you'll handle it well. Which is a huge relief. I know you talk to him about this kind of thing with regularity anyway -- race, gender, sexuality, class, civil rights, all the big hot-button issues that are usually talked about inadequately or with unconscious bias. I remember you posting on your journal awhile ago that you and Charlie had watched Hairspray together and he had been really interested in the plot pertaining to the civil rights movement. If he did say that someone "sucked because he's black" (which I doubt) might that be a good place to restart the conversation?

Also, I'm almost embarrassed to bring this up because I have a feeling that I majorly, completely, and entirely screwed up awhile back and maybe hurt your feelings. But I remember you posting and saying that you might be traveling up this way to visit someone at Emerson, and that you might see λ and I while you were here. And when I read that, you should know, I jumped up and squeed and yelled to λ "You'll never guess what!!!" and then I told her that you might be in the area and we might get to meet you and we both squeed and we talked about how great you are and how great that would be. And then I think I got a phone call or something, but I don't think I ever commented on that entry to tell you we were really squeeful and excited? Which may have made it look like we didn't really care one way or the other? And, wow, so not true, because seriously, MAJOR SQUEEAGE IN OUR HOUSEHOLD.

Anyway, so I don't know if that trip will still maybe be happening, but do know that we'd be over the moon if it did. :-D

[sing1118.livejournal.com]

Can Charlie be taken out of class like he was last year? I'm confused, I thought it was going to be a permanent thing.

[drakonlily.livejournal.com]

What on earth... can't he be excused from gym class? Why does he take it? I can't see that he's getting anything but stressed from it.

[gipsy-dreamer.livejournal.com]

Oh holy crap - why do these teachers not keep you informed??? *hugs*

Having an autistic son of my own, I know perfectly well that the only reason Charlie might say something like that is because other kids do and he has no concept of the fact that it is a nasty thing to say! He's wired differently and doesn't understand a good deal of what "normal" (whatever that is) people do, and the school really should be respecting that and trying to work with him rather than against.

[pookledo.livejournal.com]

gah! I know from being around Lisa that if he has done something wrong he needs to be told about it there and then for it to register properly. Hope it gets sorted soon.