(no subject)

[charliesmum]

There's been something I've wanted to talk about for the last couple of days, but it isn't about me and any kind of journal, by definition, is about the journal writer, and I really can't stand people who take other people's problems and make them about them.

But, I was thinking about something just today, and it's the kind of something I like to discuss with you people, so here I go.

I've known my friend Beth since we were 14 years old and I decided making friends with people I like is better than trying to be friends with people who were popular. We see each other from time to time, but I'm busy and she's busier, and there's always next time, right? We will chat on the phone, but she tends to be one of those people that ramble on for hours if you let her and I've let the call go into voice mail on the days I'm just not in the mood. I'll call her back eventually.

She phoned the other day around lunch time and I answered. 'Do you have 15 minutes?' she asked me, and then told me she'd just been diagnosed with breast cancer. Type 2, highly curable, but she has to have chemo and an operation, and all that.

So, yeah.

It's shocking, because she's always always the caregiver. She doesn't get sick. One of my thoughts was 'who's going to tend to her now when every one in her life expects her to tend to them?'

I called her today, to see how her first session went, and mentioned how we all need to get together this weekend if we could.

My other high school friends and I were going to get together this weekend anyway; would I have thought to invite Beth if she wasn't sick? Odds are I'd have assumed she was busy with her family; she often is. I like to think I would have, but I don't know. I just realised at that moment that I can't take it for granted that she, or anyone, will always be in my life, and I need to pay attention to the moments when they are.

It's just weird when lessons we tend to get from plays like 'Our Town' or Halmark holiday specials leap up to smack you in the face.

Comments

[rachet.livejournal.com]

I understand what you're going through. I had a friend who I never thought to invite to gatherings because she was always ALWAYS busy with her family and farm. But after she got diagnosed with leukemia, everyone started to invite her to everything, anything. It's like we were terrified that we'd lose a chance to visit with her.

She's still alive, though. Fighting it daily, but still alive. But she brightened up every single time we invited her to something. She couldn't make it to all of them, of course (family, farm, sick) but she so appreciated the invites.