So, here's the thing about me
Jun. 6th, 2005 04:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
charliesmumI've always had a tendency to try to blend into whatever group I happen to be around. I think it stemmed from my trying desperately to be liked and popular in grade school and junior high. That, coupled with the fact I had zero self-confidence (what little confidence I had got blasted away by my psychotic 4th grade teacher) turned me into a sort of chameleon. I would basically take on the traits of whatever group I wanted to be a part of; thus, for example, when I hung around briefly with an older girl who was into drugs, I was all about the drug culture. And the Grateful Dead. Despite not really being interested in either.
Ultimately I do think this trait helped me be a decent actress, and, coupled with my innatenosiness curiousity, it helps my writing as well.
So, I seem to be hanging out with lesbians quite a bit lately, both in real life and here on LJ, and I like these people, and I like hanging around them, and am endlessly fascinated by the whole thing, (That is definitely the writer in me.) and usually when I like people I want to be like them, as per above.
But I can't 'become' a lesbian. Aside from everything else, I'm married, and any overt experimentation on my part would be adultery.
I'm very strange.
I was on the elevator today, and had a polite conversation with the woman who I held the door for, and the conversation was about the weather. (gosh, can you believe how hot it is? etc) and, not for the first time, I thought about how people will have conversations about the weather as a way to make small talk.
And you know what? It's all good. It's a nice way to make contact with a stranger, and naturally you can't bring up something that isn't universal; as you don't know what that person's opinions are. I'm pretty sure saying something like 'So. George Bush. What a total dickhead, am I right?' might not go over with every single person.
Although it ought to.
Ultimately I do think this trait helped me be a decent actress, and, coupled with my innate
So, I seem to be hanging out with lesbians quite a bit lately, both in real life and here on LJ, and I like these people, and I like hanging around them, and am endlessly fascinated by the whole thing, (That is definitely the writer in me.) and usually when I like people I want to be like them, as per above.
But I can't 'become' a lesbian. Aside from everything else, I'm married, and any overt experimentation on my part would be adultery.
I'm very strange.
I was on the elevator today, and had a polite conversation with the woman who I held the door for, and the conversation was about the weather. (gosh, can you believe how hot it is? etc) and, not for the first time, I thought about how people will have conversations about the weather as a way to make small talk.
And you know what? It's all good. It's a nice way to make contact with a stranger, and naturally you can't bring up something that isn't universal; as you don't know what that person's opinions are. I'm pretty sure saying something like 'So. George Bush. What a total dickhead, am I right?' might not go over with every single person.
Although it ought to.
