I remember Forever

[charliesmum]

Forever, by Judy Blume is 30 years old this year, which means it had already been out about 4 years by the time I read it in the 7th grade.

Still, I remember it being the Big New Thing, though I suppose the idea of sex was the Big New Thing, and the book was just there to illustrate it. (And I need take a moment to thank my mother who never, ever censored what I read and was the one who bought the book for me.)

Yeah, it was pretty shocking, and as immature 11/12 year olds, we did immature things; I knew girls who circled the 'dirty bits' in the book, and I remember sitting around with friends reading those dirty bits and giggling at the description of Ralph (and if you don't know who, or rather what, Ralph is, then I suggest reading the book right now.)

But was it harmful to us? Of course not.

The things I brought from that book were that the boy and the girl should love each other before doing it, and that you should be 18 before doing it, pieces of advice I wound up ignoring and wish I hadn't.

In today's climate I think it is more important than ever that books like Forever reach its intended audience because it shows what happen, not when pre-marital sex goes wrong*, but when it goes right. The two main characters meet, date, get to know and trust each other, fall in love and then discuss and make the decision to have sex. Ultimately the book is about Katherine's first real love. It's about growing up, and the fact that censors focused, and continue to focus on only the dirty bits like a bunch of immature 12 year old giggling girls is really, really sad.

*For a kind of silly book about pre-marital sex going wrong, try and find Mr and Mrs BoJo Jones. If nothing else you get a sense of how far women's rights have actually come.

Comments

[lizzyrose89.livejournal.com]

I remember reading that! I think I was in year 7, too. I remember I got it out thinking it would be like other Judy Blume books I'd read. And then my friends found it and we were all reading it and giggling in the bathroom in order to hide from my mum. I have no idea why the bathroom was deemed an intelligent place to hide - it was at the top of the stairs so anyone at the bottom of the stairs would have been able to hear the bits my friends were reading out and giggling over. I really enjoyed reading it. And I'd forgotten about Ralph!!

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

Giggling over Forever in the bathroom is a rite of passage!

[lizzyrose89.livejournal.com]

Agree! *grins*

[lietya.livejournal.com]

I loved that book. (Although I'm going to make you want to strangle me when I mention that it was probably about 15 years old by the time I read it....)

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

(Although I'm going to make you want to strangle me when I mention that it was probably about 15 years old by the time I read it....)

I shall restrain myself.

I recently bought a copy of Are You There God for my neighbor who was turning 12, and had to check to see if they updated the bits about the pads, because when I read the books, people still had to use belts to hold the things on, and Margaret in the book would practice getting it on. They did change it. Made me just a little bit sad.

(to be fair, by the time I was old enough to need pads, they didn't have belts)

[lietya.livejournal.com]

Aww, they *changed* it? Never occurred to me that they might. I thought the explanation of the belts was a charming little detail. Besides, it made us "modern" girls realize how lucky we had it, with self-adhesive pads!

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Not only that, it made the whole practising thing sort of stupid. How hard is it to tear off a strip of paper and slap the thing in your undies?

[lietya.livejournal.com]

I did know somebody who didn't realize the adhesive went on the *underpants* side (Ouch!). But I remember thinking wistfully that the whole "practicing" sounded like a nice rite-of-passage moment, preparing for "becoming a woman." Stocking pads and tampons in the gym bag didn't have quite the same cachet.

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

I did know somebody who didn't realize the adhesive went on the *underpants* side (Ouch!).

Ouch indeed. Crosseds my legs just thinking about it.

[lietya.livejournal.com]

she sure figured out how to do it right *next* time!

[chavvah.livejournal.com]

That is sad that they changed it. I remember particularly enjoying that glimpse into history, much like the discussion of fashion in "As Long As We're Together". ;)

[dindin.livejournal.com]

Never read Forever. I did, however find Wifey on my parents bookshelf and read the "dirty" parts to my friends.

[lietya.livejournal.com]

Now *that* was a disturbing book which represented sex in an unhealthy-for-kids kind of way. Not that I seem to have been traumatized by it. :)

[dindin.livejournal.com]

True, true. I think I had enough other outside sources that it didn't really sink in.

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

I found Fear of Flying on my mother's nightstand, and started to read that when I was rather too young for that book. Even dirtier than Wifey, if you can believe it. :)

[dindin.livejournal.com]

LOL. I eventually read FoF, like in/after college basically because I felt like I should read it, you know? Total snooze fest.

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it is one of those 'revolutionary' books whose PR is better than the actual story. Such as it was.

The only Erika Jong book I liked was about a girl in the 1800's, (or 1700's I can't remember) and I don't remember the name of it. Had lots of sex and stuff, but it was interesting, in a soft porn sort of way.

[chavvah.livejournal.com]

Is Mr. and Mrs. BoJo Jones the one about the football player who gets his girlfriend pregnant and then has to marry her?

If so:

Worst. Teen. Sex. Ever!

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

Yes! That's the book. I don't remember the sex part, but I remember the baby convienently dying at the end.