Just need to rant a moment

[charliesmum]

I got a message from my neighbour yesterday - her grown daughter called her yesterday afternoon because it looked like Charlie was trying to climb over the fence from our balcony to theirs.

They have cats that Charlie is very fond of, and because he tends to fixate on things he likes, he's a bit fixated with them, so I could see, maybe, how she thought he was trying to come over to see the Well...here's what she wrote:

(Her Daughter) called me today in work a little upset because when she came home this afternoon, she said that Charlie was climbing over the railing on to our deck. I know Charlie is harmless and I certainly know what he was doing. My concern is, is that I had left my door open today because it was nice out and if she hadn't come home when she did , Charlie may have invited himself in and no one was home.

Like I said, I know he is harmless, my concern is that he may fall and get hurt and I would also like to be able to leave my door open when it is nice without worrying that he will come in to my apartment.

I hope I don't upset you by sending this, just thought you should know.

I asked Charlie and he said he was leaning over, because the big door was open and he was trying to see if the cats were there. I can see him leaning far over the rail, but he wasn't climbing over.

I'm just really tired of people assuming the worst about Charlie without bothering to even talk to him first. Like that girl he was crushing on earlier in the year - I'm not saying his behaviour was appropriate, but she never once said to him, 'Charlie, stop that.' She just ran to the teacher or her parents and made Charlie out to be some creepy weirdo.

And now my neighbour, who knows him seems to assume he'd invade someone else's home without permission. And her daughter, who is 19 years old, couldn't seem to be able to just ask Charlie what he was doing and tell him to stop if she really thought he was trying to climb onto their balcony and come into their house.

I mean, he's not stupid, and he can actually speak and hear people. If you have a problem with something he's doing, give him the courtesy of telling him so.

I've always told Charlie to be honest about the Autism because I thought it would help people understand where he's coming from a bit more, but the other side of that coin is, they immediately think he's some crazy person who wanders into other people's house.

Comments

[scarlet-begonia.livejournal.com]

:( Sorry you have to put up with allof that. That sucks.

[lietya.livejournal.com]

What a snide little note, and the implications that "she knows" he's not MEANING to be a burglar [but would anyway] is just so charming.

Is it possible for you, or he, to explain that the flip side of the autistic coin is that oftentimes (obviously not with every autistic person, but he's a sweet, accommodating kid) someone is *more* likely to a) appreciate a clear, firm direction and b) actually listen to and remember the rule?

My problem was always applying rules too strictly and not realizing that the world needs flexibility, but trust me, "Do not enter someone's house when they are not home without previous permission" would be obeyed quite precisely. ;) While it's insulting that Charlie should need to listen to her assume that he's an untrustworthy wretch, perhaps allowing her one explanation would make her feel more secure and therefore more likely to leave *him* alone.

Or not, since I'm kind of bad at predicting neurotypical behavior when perpetrated by the illogical and easily offended. I dunno.

All I know is, I'd much rather live next to Charlie than the teen boys who DO live next door to us, who have actually climbed over our fence and broken it, and don't respond even to being bellowed at about trespassing. He doesn't deserve her shit.

[finmagik.livejournal.com]

God, I know what Charlie is going through. People need to know that having Aspergers you don't GET things that other people get... like subtle 'leave me alone' hints. Anything I cna do to help?

[geishawhite.livejournal.com]

What bothers me most about that is 'harmless'. As if he were an animal, or an idiot, someone who could be seen as a threat. He's a teenage boy, and whilst he may be autistic, he is not irrational or crazy or senseless. I almost think it's worth pointing out to your neighbour that because of his autism, Charlie is more likely to take rules as absolutes, that he is completely unlikely to enter a house without permission and that leaning over the railing is not the same as climbing over. I would personally point out that her daughter perhaps needs better understanding of what autism actually means rather than overreacting but I'm short on patience for the passive-aggressive >_>

[drakonlily.livejournal.com]

Ick. :( I'm sorry about that. I understand that people aren't... well, they aren't as educated as they think they are half the time. It's a real pain in the ass. Don't feel like this step back takes away from him though.

*hugs*

[sixth-light.livejournal.com]

I love the passive-aggressive "my concern is that he could fall or get hurt" - yeah, sure, you wrote that entire note because you were so worried about him hurting himself.

Also, maybe this is just me, but how sensible is it anyway to leave a balcony door open if you're not home? Or are you guys enough stories up that it's not a problem?