(no subject)

[charliesmum]

The little girls my friends were fostering got taken away. The paternal grandmother won custody of them, which I personally think is stupid as her son is currently incarseated for several years for severely beating up someone. Doesn't indicate to me she has good parenting skills. But she does seem to care for the girls, and that must count for something, I don't know.

What do you think? Is it nature or nuture? Could someone be raised well and still turn out to be violent? Maybe it was totally drug related, I don't know. I do wonder what will happen when he is released after having his violent tendencies honed to perfection in jail and he goes home to his mommy and the girls.

The mother of the girls checked herself out of rehab after one day, which doesn't indicate she is in any hurry to change her behavior, but maybe the thought of her girls being put in custody of her husband's family (ex? I don't know) will really spur her to grow up and be a good mother.

At any rate it is sad. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. I really, really hope they are going to be okay. It is so easy to damage children, and the thought of those sweet little girls following in their parent's footsteps makes me want to cry.

In happier news, my husband got me a Topper's Spa certificate for Valentine's Day, so now I have a nice massage to look forward to.

Comments

[slammerkinbabe.livejournal.com]

I see why you're concerned about the girls, but I think I'd reserve judgment until I saw more of how the grandmother cared for them. I do think that in many cases violent adults are the products of abusive childhoods, but I don't think it's always that way, and when it is, it isn't always the fault of the family. A kid who was sexually (or physically, though that's less common outside of the family) abused by an uncle, a family friend, a priest, a teacher, or a stranger may have been troubled and acting out for years, eventually turning violent, without its having anything to do with his family. He could have been a victim of some horrible crime that turned him hard and then violent. In addition, violence sometimes just comes from out of nowhere. Sociopathy is something even the most loving family can't prevent or cure. Of course, sociopathy's rare. Addiction, as you mention, as well - that can be entirely genetic (sometimes), nothing to do with nurture, and still lead people to do some really awful things.

I'd say that while you have cause to be concerned, I wouldn't make any judgments just yet. I'm really glad you're so concerned for them, though. I don't know whether you'll see them again, but it means a lot just to know that you care.