I'm fed up with being reasonable
Sep. 14th, 2004 12:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
charliesmumCharlie got kicked out of school again. Happened on Thursday too. He apparently got all aggressive and wouldn't listen, and started running out of the classroom, and was hitting, and threatening to bite, and being super horrible. He was fine for most of the morning, then something set him off.
I talked with the principal, and with Charlie's case worker, and nodded and agreed with what they were saying, and tried to come up with reasons for this behavior, and now I just feel like having a righteous mommy rant.
He's in a new school, with new kids, and new teachers. He'd been going to his old school since he was 3 years old, so it is a big adjustment, especially for a child who doesn't handle transition well. It's just been 1 week today since school started and he's had problems 2x. The other days, though, he was very good. So obviously something is setting him off.
I can't help but feel like the teacher isn't being very patient with Charlie and his problems. I can't believe he is the only kid with problems in the class. I know for a fact that one boy who was with Charlie last year, can be even more disruptive. I know it isn't fair to the other kids in the class to have the teachers have to spend too much time with Charlie, but that's why he is in a special class, isn't it? If he were totally mainstreamed I would understand the teacher's problem, but it is her job to deal with this. And the case worker said that 'yes, she is trained to deal with this, but Charlie is being so difficult' yada yada yada. And I can't help but wonder exactly what they are doing in the classroom that is setting Charlie off. Because he's not a horrible kid.
And then I'm being told that he had problems during the summer. Well, first I heard of it. No one told me that he was being difficult. For all I knew he was doing fine. I didn't have to go pick him up from school once this summer.
I wanted to see if he would go back to class this afternoon, because I don't want him to think I can just come get him whenever he doesn't feel like being in school, and I was told that the teacher didn't want him back. Yeah, that's a good attitude.
And the case worker suggested maybe he's ADD or something, and maybe I should look into getting him medicated. I'm sorry, but I'm not drugging up my child just to make the teacher's job easier.
I'd love to hear from anyone who is on Ritalin or something, or if they know someone, because the only one I know is my friend's daughter, and I didn't see it helping a whole lot. It helped her focus in class more, apparently, but the side effects where sometimes worse than the original problem. It completely killed her appetite, and this is a kid who didn't eat much in the first place, and made her even more emotional than she was before.
And I just don't like the idea of putting my son on drugs.
Anyway...thanks for letting me rant. I feel, well lousy still, but slightly better for talking to people about it. People I might add, who aren't my family and won't start giving me well-meaning but annoying advice that make me feel like a bad mother and want to throw things.
I talked with the principal, and with Charlie's case worker, and nodded and agreed with what they were saying, and tried to come up with reasons for this behavior, and now I just feel like having a righteous mommy rant.
He's in a new school, with new kids, and new teachers. He'd been going to his old school since he was 3 years old, so it is a big adjustment, especially for a child who doesn't handle transition well. It's just been 1 week today since school started and he's had problems 2x. The other days, though, he was very good. So obviously something is setting him off.
I can't help but feel like the teacher isn't being very patient with Charlie and his problems. I can't believe he is the only kid with problems in the class. I know for a fact that one boy who was with Charlie last year, can be even more disruptive. I know it isn't fair to the other kids in the class to have the teachers have to spend too much time with Charlie, but that's why he is in a special class, isn't it? If he were totally mainstreamed I would understand the teacher's problem, but it is her job to deal with this. And the case worker said that 'yes, she is trained to deal with this, but Charlie is being so difficult' yada yada yada. And I can't help but wonder exactly what they are doing in the classroom that is setting Charlie off. Because he's not a horrible kid.
And then I'm being told that he had problems during the summer. Well, first I heard of it. No one told me that he was being difficult. For all I knew he was doing fine. I didn't have to go pick him up from school once this summer.
I wanted to see if he would go back to class this afternoon, because I don't want him to think I can just come get him whenever he doesn't feel like being in school, and I was told that the teacher didn't want him back. Yeah, that's a good attitude.
And the case worker suggested maybe he's ADD or something, and maybe I should look into getting him medicated. I'm sorry, but I'm not drugging up my child just to make the teacher's job easier.
I'd love to hear from anyone who is on Ritalin or something, or if they know someone, because the only one I know is my friend's daughter, and I didn't see it helping a whole lot. It helped her focus in class more, apparently, but the side effects where sometimes worse than the original problem. It completely killed her appetite, and this is a kid who didn't eat much in the first place, and made her even more emotional than she was before.
And I just don't like the idea of putting my son on drugs.
Anyway...thanks for letting me rant. I feel, well lousy still, but slightly better for talking to people about it. People I might add, who aren't my family and won't start giving me well-meaning but annoying advice that make me feel like a bad mother and want to throw things.
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no subject
on 2004-09-15 05:16 pm (UTC)sorry to not have posted sooner, but you are not being unreasonable. this teacher is suposed to be trained for this type of behavior. it is expected and dealt with. if she cant deal with charlie, she is in the wrong position. your tax dollars go to support the school. if you were being unreasonable, then they have the right to gently tell you your son is no longer a viable member. but, and this appears to be the case, they have a job to perform and that is to take your child, disabilities and all, and educate him. that is what they are paid to do.
taking drugs isnt the answer to everything. you as the parent have the right to say no. if it would help him, then it might be a consideration for you. if it wont help him, then it is a waste of both time, money and health.
my brother is ADHA, badly. he was on ritalin when younger and it helped him. he never learned to deal with it though and so as an adult, he is not as responsible as he would like to think he is. his daughter is just like him. and she needed the drugs desperately to be able to function. his other daughter, i dont feel is ADHA but they put her on ritalin too. now she uses it as and excuse to not study or not do well in her school work. (same niece that has me worried about my daughter.)
dont be afraid to step up on behalf of charlie and let the school know they arent doing their job. be bold. that social worker sounds more like she has too many cases and is just going along with the school so it is less work on her.
as a teacher i have thought to myself hundreds of times, when talking to a parent about a students horrible behavior, "you know what this kid is like at home. you know what a brat/pain-in-the-ass etc. he/she really is." but i cant say that to a parent. they get defensive. they know their kid is a butthead but they wont admit it.
you know charlie isnt how they are portraying him. you know him well. give examples, suggest ways to help him cope with the change, give them ideas on how you do things at home that might help at school.
suggest a webcam. if daycares can do it, why cant schools? come on, there has got to be some e-money available.
you know, all schools with special needs kids need a webcam so parents can peek in. what better way of showing how the school functions? hmmm...
sorry this is long but i am upset that they would cop out like that.
dont take too much. i dont know how but if you can get a lawyer. they eat this stuff up. my mother had to take a lawyer several times to the ards with my niece. it worked.
end of rant - give charlie extra hugs and tell him texas thinks he is great.
no subject
on 2004-09-15 06:06 pm (UTC)