Well, apparently I suck

[charliesmum]

I didn't get a part in the play.

Francie, the lady who had to give me the news, said they might want me to be 'Valentine' or 'The Priest' but I'm sorry, I'm not up for losing graciously at this point, so I said I don't think so. I'm selfish. If I can't be a decent part, then it will be too painful for me to be there at all.

I always thought I could do Shakespeare.I suck at so many other things in my life, I'm not good at anything really, but this I thought, if I just had the chance, I could do it, but apparently not. It was like the one hope I had left in the world, and now that is gone.

I'm really, really depressed right now.

Comments

My Advice:

[aurictech.livejournal.com]

Take the minor role. It'll pay off in the long run, as The Theater Powers That Be will have a chance to see you in action. In theater, as in many other professions, one should expect to spend some time as an apprentice, before moving up to more prestigious positions. I suggest that you view going on stage in a minor role as your first step on the journey to top billing.

[october31st.livejournal.com]

I'm with aurictech. Nobody starts out at the top of the game, and if it's something you think you'd really enjoy doing, there's no better way to get started than with a small role. Also, you're a wonderful person, and shouldn't put yourself down so. *hugs*

[carlanime.livejournal.com]

I think aurictech's advice sounds sensible. Give them a chance to see you, and to get to know you; they'll come to appreciate you, I'm sure they will. ::hugs::

[snarkypants.livejournal.com]

Ah, bless your heart; I know it hurts. It's really not over, though!

Just because you weren't the most right for this part and this director doesn't mean you won't be the most right for the next one. It doesn't mean that you're not good at it. Sometimes it comes down to the person who most closely fit the image the director had in his or her head.

I don't know how much history you have with this group, but if this was your first audition with them, they might be afraid to cast an unknown person for a major part; I had actors 'just not show up' for important rehearsals and/or performances when I was directing back in college, and it throws the whole production into a tailspin. A lot of times, we'd choose the actors who had a track record with us or our friends, and keep our eyes on the unknowns for our next production.

If you can lick your wounds and regain some of your confidence, I hope you might be able to accept one of the smaller parts, and show them that you're a real trouper. But it'll be understandable if you don't feel up for it.

[chrysantza.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[faeriethistle.livejournal.com]

~hugs~
If you arent happy and it takes away time from Charlie, dont take it.
But, if you can see the positive aspects of the part, and you still have time for your family, go for it.
If Momma aint happy, aint nobody happy.
It has to make you happy.

[sphinxvictorian.livejournal.com]

Oh, you don't suck, really you don't. I know you know this, but I'm going to say it all anyway.

It's tough when you don't get the part you want, I know, but that doesn't mean you can't act, or that you can't do Shakespeare. It means that you weren't the person that the director envisioned in his grand scheme for the play. Maybe he wanted a blonde, maybe he wanted someone taller, or someone older or younger. At any rate, it doesn't mean a damn thing about your talent. Keep trying out, don't give up. I played bit parts in amateur Shakespeare productions for years, and then finally I fit someone's vision for the character of the Old Shepherd(ess) in Winter's Tale, so I got a bigger part. It's the luck of the draw, really.

Hugs anyway, and chin up!

[erinlin.livejournal.com]

Just because you didn't get a part in this play, doesn't mean you suck. It probably just means you "weren't what they were looking for". Theatre can be heartless at times, but it can also be rewarding. Maybe you'll have better luck next time.

*sends lots of good wishes*

[erinlin.livejournal.com]

Let me rephrase that- "I *hope* you'll have better luck next time".

[susanthecurious.livejournal.com]

Take care, so many have expressed it so well.

It may also be part of a way that your time is free during this time period for some other opportunity that you wouldn't be able to take on if you were committed to the play.

[lietya.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm so sorry. Don't take the word of one person running a penny-ante play as a condemnation of your entire dream, either; just because you didn't get this part doesn't at all mean that the hope is gone.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

::HUGS::

[femaelstrom27.livejournal.com]

*hugs and hugs* That is the freaking WORST feeling in the entire world. I hate this line, but I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL and I'm vicariously pissed off at the committee for not giving you a part. And I know everyyyyyyyone says this and it is so annoying, but not getting this part does not mean that you suck or that you are bad at Shakespeare. You've gotten cast before. And you ARE good at things, you're a wonderful mother and a caring friend and god knows what else. I'd like to return the offer you made me a year ago -- if you want to meet up somewhere like the Treehouse to rant and drink expensive coffee, I'm here for you.

[femaelstrom27.livejournal.com]

Oh, and sort of in reply to some other people -- I think you should go for the smaller part, if you could get the courage. I got put in the chorus for a play in 8th grade and refused to do the show, and I regretted it for the entire duration of the play because all my friends ever effing talked about was rehearsal, rehearsal, rehearsal! and I felt like I was missing out. Then in Secret Garden I was The World's Most Unimportant Ghost Ever and it completely sucked, but I was still able to enjoy doing it, which surprised me. Point is, I think you'll surprise yourself and have more fun than you think with the play. Plus, like some other people said, you can prove to the directors that you are really good and really dependable and not only will they consider you for a part in the next production, but you'll also get major brownie points with them and they may give you unassigned lines, things to distinguish yourself. Just show that you are really passionate about this and really throw your heart into the show (or at least pretend to), and they will be so impressed. I got some sort of Theater Spirit award at school this year "for always wanting to perform onstage in any capacity" -- that is, doing a show even if my part was totally worthless and dispensable! I've gone on long enough, I imagine. Take care.

[cactus-wren.livejournal.com]

((hugs)) Please don't be depressed or get so down on yourself. I agree with auritech, it might not a bad idea to take one of the smaller parts. You'll be able to add more experience to your resume, and it will get your face out there to the people doing the casting and casting the next one. I know how much it sucks to have had your heart set on something and then it doesn't come through. But it isn't reason to give up your hopes and dreams of doing this, your chance will come, you may just have to wait awhile longer.

[zakkati.livejournal.com]

I am in total agreement.

((hugs))

[slammerkinbabe.livejournal.com]

::hugs:: Oh, Carol, I'm so sorry.

I wish there were a way that you could understand, the way that those of us who see you from the outside do, how wonderful you are and how much you matter. You are such a wonderful friend and such an *amazing* mother to Charlie; when you say you're "not good at anything really" it makes me so sad to hear that, because my God, if only my mother could have understood my issues and what I needed when I was a kid as well as you understand Charlie, I think I would be so much more comfortable in who I am now. And not that I'm trying to use this comment to rag on my mother, but my point is that raising an autistic kid is one of the most difficult things I can think of, and you have this amazing natural talent for it, it's like you just *know* what he's feeling and why he reacts the way he does and how to respond. I know your post isn't about this, exactly, but I really want to convey that when you say you're not good at anything and this was your one hope to be good at something - you're *amazing* at something, and it's an incredibly difficult something, too. Take it from someone who knows.

As for the play, I don't know why the director didn't choose you - I agree with everyone else that a.) previous theatrical experience counts for a whole lot and b.) sometimes the director's concerns have nothing to do with your acting. It's maybe not true across the board for young startup theater companies, but I know that in the majority of cases directors aren't just looking for someone who can act the part, they're looking for someone of a very specific "look". For example, I was in a production of The Sound of Music once in which a woman with the most glorious voice you can imagine was rejected for the part of Maria - the part went to a woman who really just did not have a very good voice at all, it was breathy and shrill at the same time, and she wasn't all that great an actress besides. But the woman with the glorious voice was short and compactly built and had dark skin and hair, and the woman who was cast in the role was taller and willowy with blonde hair. The director had clearly done this on purpose, and it was clearly because he felt that a short dark stocky woman didn't project the Image that Maria should. Do I think he made a kind of stupid choice? Absolutely - I hated listening to the Maria he chose. The morals of the story are that a.) directors don't always choose based on raw talent and b.) their opinions are not the only ones out there.

::hugs:: You're a fantastic person, Carol. Please don't beat yourself up about this. You are wonderful.

[chavvah.livejournal.com]

I've tried out for a few productions over the years, amateur and professional, and I've learned that there is, of necessity, always a certain amount of whim to a director's choice. I have friends with serious talent who have been passed over because they didn't have the look the director was going for. I've also had to accept the fact that I am not a strong actor, which has been hard for me. I love theatre so much that, when I didn't get a part in our high school production in grade ten, I volunteered to paint sets after school, just so I could be where the play was happening. I always kind of hoped they would see me and say, hey, room for one more! Of course, that never happened. But I did learn a lot that year, just from being around the production. And I had fun--far more than I expected I would.

As a director now myself, I sometimes have to pass people over, and it's a hard decision to make. I guarantee the students that everyone who signs up to be in the play will get a part, but obviously they can't all be the lead. But that doesn't mean I don't count on them just as much or treasure their contribution, especially when it's obvious how much they love being there.

I would take the smaller part, if only for one very selfish reason--you see, I also have friends who have accepted seemingly minor roles in plays and who have ended up stealing the show. :)

[slammerkinbabe.livejournal.com]

Hammering home my remarkable ability to make everything ever All About Carol Burnett - I believe I read in her autobiography that the first show she ever did (a comedy) she got passed over for the lead and was given instead a more peripheral role. And completely stole the show and became the focus of all the reviews. Because she's Carol Burnett. But the director didn't give her the lead, see.

[chavvah.livejournal.com]

Carol Burnett was not one of the friends I was referring to, but thank you for contributing to my point. :)

[shannongeorgina.livejournal.com]

((Hugs))

[mabfan.livejournal.com]

You have my condolences. I know where you come from, as rejection takes place in the writing world too, and it always makes me feel like I've failed in some way. And I know it doesn't help to say that you don't suck, but that's what you have to tell yourself until you get through it.

[jandyle.livejournal.com]

Everyone above me already covered it, but I would like to echo the "take the small role" and the "just because you weren't right for this role doesn't mean you won't be perfect for the next one" statements. Sometimes you just can't fit a particular person in a particular play. Not everyone can be the lead. Plus, if you show up for a smaller role the director will get to see more of you, which can only help.

But still, I know it sucks, and it hurts. :(

[silverhill.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm sorry. *hugs*

As an actor, I know that hurt all too well. So I'm not going to try to say anything to cheer you up. Because even if you know that not getting cast doesn't mean you suck (and you don't suck), it's still a completely rotten feeling.

Don't let this be the end of your hopes, though.

I hope you find another show to audition for.

[leakyandsnort.livejournal.com]

oh, no! I'm so sorry.

[lizzyrose89.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I'm sorry you didn't get the part, and I agree with everyone else - you definitely don't suck! They all talk of the sense, so listen to them!